Completely Biased

Moved!

2006-07-03T18:05:00.000+10:00

Completely Biased has moved far, far away from the timeouts, broken pipe errors, and crappy photo hosting of BlogSpot over to its own domain, where sunshine and lollipops roam free in fields of jellybeans! I've moved over to completelybiased.com, and may or may not bitch about politics, depending on my mood. Please update your bookmarks and links!

More Blogging From The Future

2005-02-11T01:21:00.000+11:00

Are you in Asia Dave? Are we married in the future?

Yes to both, Lee Lee. We got married a while back, have a mind-blowing sex life, and are still as totally hawt as the day we met. We have a nice partnership going - I write the movies and you make them (and yes, the highlight of your life so far (beating our wedding day) was directing Steve Martin's last film before he died). Go us. We're currently in Asia (main reason we're overseas is for you - the entire collapse of the Australian film industry means you have to travel abroad to get work), but I'm a bit worried about the situation here. It looks like there's a war of the nuclear variety brewing between China and the US - America wants to "democracise them back into the stone age," and China is just telling them to get fucked.

It's mainly due to America's dominance as a superpower starting to crumble, and that China's economy has gone from strength to strength (mainly at the expense of the US). There's still some anger over President Schwarzenegger's assasination a few years ago, which some Chinese officials were allegedly involved in, and the media has constantly been stirring that pot since then, trying to get a real anti-Asian sentiment going. I'll give it a few more months until something happens.

So yeah, it's a bit iffy. We're not in China, but there's a chance it could spill over the borders. In any case though, this has been one hell of a trip!

Blogging From The Future

2005-02-10T01:23:00.000+11:00

Wow! I haven't updated this shit since Family First's laws were passed! Weird to see that my password still works. I wonder if people still read this. Well, outside of Australia anyway, seeing as though the Internet is censored from there anyway. Yes, thankyou very fucking much Family First. Worst coalition ever. Even worse than when the ALP split and ALP Right sided with the Libs. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Yes, look where that got you, geniuses.

I'm overseas at the moment (hence the uncensored Internet). It's nice to be in a slightly less right-wing country, although I suspect I'll have a bitch of a time getting back to Australia thanks to Immigration. My RFID tag got infected so I had to get it removed while I was over here, which'll probably lead to me being stuck in detention as an asylum seeker, and if I cop some bad luck, ASIO will be buttfucking me when I get back at the airport. "How come your tag isn't appearing in our monitoring system?" "Coz I took it out." "What?! Planning a terrorist attack were you?! You know the law, all Australians must keep their RFID tags at all times! Assume the position!" THANKS A LOT COCKHEADS, I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THAT IN 2015.

Yes, fuck those freedom-hating terrorists. Good to see we got them beat, with our tracking systems for all citizens and removal of privacy laws. Freedom 1, terrorists 0. To think that all we had to do to remain a free country was to revoke most of our freedom.

Fuck Tony Abbott in the ear. Worst PM ever. And that's saying something, considering I lived through 7 years of Ruddock.

So yes, I'm over here looking for a job. The new revisions in the FTA screwed me over last year (the part where any Australian business has to vacate a field an American company wishes to enter in), so I'm gonna try and get employment out here, seeing as though the highest you can pretty much get (without having parents with connections) is manager of the local Maccas.

TV over here is much more varied. Weird to see a commercial-free station out here, after finally getting used to the government privatising the ABC and Lachlan Murdoch buying it out (not to mention the weirdness of Fox News doing the 7 o'clock slot - I mean you could at least use Australian presenters instead of just taking a feed from the satellite). Speaking of Murdoch, there is an insane amount of stuff happening in the world that I just never knew what was happening. Hurrah for media diversity.

I'm on antibiotics to kill this infection from the RFID tag (clearly they should've researched more before implementing this, I wonder if anyone else is having similar problems?), but they're only $15 a pack compared to the $200 they are back home. Cheap!

It's just so much nicer here. Considering never going back. Public schools still exist here (the real kind (remember them?), not the corporate-funded ones), non-Hillsong people aren't discriminated against, women are allowed to work, homosexuals aren't taxed twice as much as heterosexuals ("morals tax," another brilliant Lib/FF initiative), dissent is allowed, the phone lines actually work, premarital sex isn't a criminal offence (same for abortion), and there's no bullshit talk of a referendum to get rid of elections. To think that we assisted in destroying entire countries over democracy (remember Iraq? And how it turned out to be such a failed experiment that they just gave up and nuked the place because it was costing too much?) 20 years ago, and now we're seriously considering getting rid of it here. And I thought extending government terms to 7 years at a time was bad enough. WHY DO YOU MORONS KEEP VOTING FOR THIS SHIT?!

"Let us do the voting for you."

WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE FIND THIS SLOGAN CREEPY/MOCKING?!

Ugh. I don't know how many of you will ever be able to read this back home, but good luck. I've finally given up on Australia.

But hey, interest rates are still low, and that's what counts, right?

The Ando Zone: Episode 11

2005-02-07T23:52:00.000+11:00

Alright, I seem to keep coming back to this blog after bailing on it, so from now on I'll not give it up, but just not make any promises on when I'll next update. I have no net access while I'm typing this, as I'm out in woop woop, but I saved a bunch of bits of news to work from.

You'll remember that around November 22nd of last year, the federal police decided not to go ahead with a case against Ando and friends, as there was a lack of evidence. Whether or not this was the case, we'll never know, but Ando has gotten away with it in any case.

However, the Senate has gotten an inquiry underway (while they still can) into electoral rorts (ie. pork barreling), featuring the Ando scandal as the centrepiece.

Tony Windsor has stood by his allegations made against Ando still, and this time two of his staffers (Helen Tickle, campaign secretary, and Stephen Hall, campaign manager) have backed him up on his claims. Hall and Windsor have also stated that Greg McGuire (the guy that made the offer of a diplomatic posting to Windsor) said on three separate occasions that he'd lie to police to protect Ando, because he didn't want to be the person who "brings down the Deputy PM."

"I recall him saying, 'Look, they're so desperate they'd offer you anything, a diplomatic posting,' and he said, Senator Macdonald was on the sideline, "Yes we can arrange anything." So, yeah, and I recall him saying that I know that Tony was upset by that comment, and that I have said in my police statement as well, I recall he was offended by this. He actually swore. I didn't catch what he said cause he didn't say it very loudly, but he's not a person who swears in front of women, in fact it's the first time he ever has in front of me and he turned and apologised."
- Helen Tickle

Hall also said that McGuire threatened him, in that if he didn't go along with McGuire's version of events, he would "finish him."

Ando still says the claims are untrue, and that he lies awake crying at night over them. Well, not that extreme, but something to that effect.

Fat Kim has challenged Ando to face the Senate inquiry.

"I think what the deputy prime minister ought to do, if he believes that his reputation is being impugned, he should appear before the inquiry."
- The Spineless One

In fact, Ando, McGuire, Senator Macdonald and De-Anne Kelly (former regional affairs secretary) have all dodged appearing before the inquiry.

(yes, that sucked, but I'm still getting back in the swing of things)

2005-02-07T01:38:00.000+11:00

(okay, running late on the Ando Zone)

2005-02-04T17:25:00.000+11:00

"I can't believe that women in this day and age are so dumb to get pregnant willy-nilly."
- Alan Cadman, Liberal Party genius extraordinaire

How many steps backward must we take, before we start going forward again?

2005-02-04T13:58:00.000+11:00

Oh God, I just can't stay away.

I think I've figured out how Kim Beazley and his staffers develop policies and whatnot.

"Y'know, John Howard seemed to be really successful last election. Here's his policies here. He used them and won, so I don't see why we can't. They go on about being the party all about choice, well, now we can be too! And what a choice we'll be! This strategy almost won it for me in 2001, so I think if we try it again, but try it harder, we might just get over the line this time. 2007, here we come! Provided I don't get undermined by then, anyway."

(episode 11 of The Ando Zone coming Sunday night)

Waiting For A Day That Will Never Come

2005-01-31T01:38:00.000+11:00

I can't get motivated to do this anymore. Every time I read the paper it is always about the party I hoped would represent me in parliament bickering among themselves and being general fuckwits. How can anything change with an opposition being so pathetic? Hooray. Kim Beazley again. Hooray. Now all we need is a spine.

If they ever get their shit together, then maybe I could start ranting again, but at this point it's just like watching a bunch of fucking lemmings walk around in circles.

So this is me more or less giving up. Maybe when Gillard's time comes we can get excited again. But for now, I'm content to just read page after page of bad news every single fucking day. I'll still stalk you all on your blogs and have an argument with anyone who starts one, but for now, I'm done posting.

It's been a fun/depressing couple of months. Best wishes to all of my filthy communist hippie friends, and I'll be back when I no longer feel like I'm just constantly bashing my head against a wall.

A spineless teddy bear, the Invisible Woman, and a bunch of termites...

LABOR: GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER.

2005-01-20T19:35:00.000+11:00

Don't put a revolving door on the entrance of the Opposition Leader's office. That door only leads to permanent opposition.
- Simon Crean, November 29, 2003

Marky Mark And His Funky Bunch

2005-01-18T19:13:00.000+11:00

Wow! Apparently Latham's testicular cancer has re-emerged, because it seems like he's lost his fucking balls. Here's his statement:

A number of colleagues have asked me to address the uncertainty concerning the Labor leadership. While I had planned to reassess things at the end of my leave period on 26 January, the ongoing speculation is damaging the Party and needs to be dealt with now.

Obviously I am disappointed with the press coverage over the last fortnight. Despite being on annual leave and recovering from illness, the media have been constantly camped outside our home.

In recent days, I have been able to get away to rest and recover and talk to my family about our priorities for the future. Our conclusion is that I should look after my health and pursue a normal life outside of politics. Therefore I have decided to resign both as Labor Leader and Member for Werriwa.

I have had a well-publicised problem with pancreatitis that has been hard to overcome. This condition and the uncertain timing of the attacks are incompatible with the demands and stresses of a parliamentary life.

When I was hospitalised in August, for instance, the media frenzy was over the top, with photographers shooting through my hospital window. Accordingly, I have done everything I could to keep subsequent episodes as private as possible.

Unfortunately ever since the recent bout became known, and even though I was on annual leave, the media has been harassing people in our street, forcing our neighbours to call the police on several occasions.

Obviously this situation cannot continue. Public office can take it out of people and, after 17 years and two serious life-threatening illnesses, the time has come to put my family and my health first. While it is important to try to help people through community involvement, this should not be at the expense of loved ones.

I am exceptionally fortunate to have a fantastic family, especially my beautiful wife and two little boys. I would be crazy to put this at risk. In politics everyone talks about family values. I would like to practice them in a normal way.

I want to thank the Labor party for the opportunity of leading it to the last election and trying to form a Labor Government. I hope that my colleagues can achieve this vital goal in the future and I wish them well.

I am proud that, even from opposition, we achieved some important reforms in 2004, such as the reform of parliamentary superannuation, changes to the US trade agreement, improved childhood immunisation, a baby care payment and placing the importance of early childhood development on the national agenda. I did my best to lead a genuinely progressive Australian Labor Party.

I wish to thank the people of Werriwa for the opportunity of representing them since 1994 and putting something back into our local community.

I also thank the local Labor party members and particularly my staff, who have worked so hard both in the electorate and in Parliament House.

I again thank the Labor supporters and members who backed our cause in the last campaign and gave me encouragement as Labor Leader.

Thank you all very much.

What he meant to say was:

Dear everybody,

You can all suck my arse. Quit your whining and bickering for a change, and realise that you're all as much to blame as I am for what is going on with the ALP. Now shut the fuck up, get behind me for a change, and let's do our fucking jobs for a change. Yes Carr, I'm looking at you, cockhead.

Now piss off. I'm sick and off work till Australia Day. I will return with some steel-capped boots, and will be kicking numerous people up the date then.

Have a nice day,
Latho.

Much more inspiring, wasn't it? I can't believe odds are we're looking at Beazley again. AGAIN. I look at my misspelt ALP membership card and sigh. Replacing a leader that's lost his balls with another that had none to begin with. On the upside, I'm betting this merry-go-round will continue and come January the 18th, 2006, we'll be looking at another new leader. Hooray.

Maybe the ALP needs to just collapse on itself. Maybe everyone currently holding a senior position should be fired and not allowed to return. Because the party has massive problems, and they've got fuck all to do with the leader.

Latham is going to be replaying this in his head for the rest of his life. And regretting it (especially in 2007 when we get to see Beazley (if he's still even leader) going "uhh... me too" during the election campaign). Obviously I don't believe his ailments are the primary reason for quitting.

I mean yes, someone else might get leadership other than Beazley, but seriously, like that'll happen. Jules would be awesome though.

So this is me, disappointed and pissed off. It'd be nice to write something positive in here for a change.

2005-01-18T15:02:00.000+11:00

Oh bloody hell. What a joke.

2005-01-17T00:16:00.000+11:00

How to ensure you permanently stay in Opposition:

Vote for party leader.
Endorse party leader for about a week.
Set about undermining party leader.
Throw Fat Kim in the works.
Bicker amongst yourselves while the rest of the country looks on and rolls their eyes.
Bring party to brink of collapse, hold ballot for new leader.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

Brand New Day

2005-01-14T01:47:00.000+11:00

are we getting screwed or is it just me?

Like Australian citizens overseas, this blog has been totally abandoned for way too long. So I am back from my apathetic break from the blogging world, all ready to spew out another round of hate-filled bile. What triggered it? Why, Phillip Ruddock of all people, but I'll get to that later.

So what've I missed? Quite a bit, it would seem. Andrew Bolt had one last tug while looking in the mirror and took off on holidays; Piers Akerman is still putting the boot into Latham while he's down; after all the efforts to install McDemocracy™ in Iraq, apparently we can't be fucked actually letting Iraqis vote; the Free Trade Agreement has come into effect and Holden are already looking at manufacturing most of their cars in America and importing them, instead of building them here; and most likely countless other things that I haven't even read about. I don't even know what Ando is up to now. Must get onto that.

Oh wait, he's mentioned here in a story on a road funding election promise that the Government has since bailed on.

Yes, Ruddock. What a twat. He looks like the big evil green face in the Wizard Of Oz too. Anyway, he was on the 7:30 Report the other night stating that even though Mamdouh Habib hasn't been charged after three years of being left to rot in a prison camp with a dodgy legal system, they'd still give him shit when he returned to Australia.

HEATHER EWART: But in a democracy like ours, if charges are not laid, isn't a person entitled to live normally with the presumption of innocence?

PHILIP RUDDOCK: Well, they're entitled to live a normal life, subject to Australian law, and...

HEATHER EWART: Do you see what I mean? What sort of precedent are you setting here?

PHILIP RUDDOCK: Well, no, I'm simply saying that under Australian law, there are certain authorities that have - with appropriate consents to undertake a range of activities in relation to any Australians.

Oh it's great. My favourite quote was this:

No, but in accordance with the rules of war, enemy combatants are entitled to be held until the conclusion of hostilities. I mean, that's the principle. The war against terror is a significant engagement in which we're all involved, and it is not concluded.

That's right, the rules of war apply because we're apparently at war! Only problem is that we don't actually know who we're at war with.

The good old ALP is having a fun time imploding yet again isn't it? And they wonder why they don't win elections. Contrary to popular belief, Latham is staying on (although other news sources are speculating still, so who knows really). And he's alive. Although Ms Fits' reasoning is hard to argue with. And what the shit, Kim Beazley is eyeing leadership again?! GIVE IT UP ALREADY. Latham's statement is here. I have to say this speculation about Gillard is cool though.

And the US has given up on trying to find WMDs in Iraq. Will Howard admit Australians were misled? Sure he will!

Fairfax are looking at going shopping for Ten, due to cross-media laws getting axed in July. But what if PBL buys Fairfax? Would that mean Nine would own Ten? It is late and I should be sleeping. Night all; I'll try and do a more organised post tomorrow.

2004-12-15T23:54:00.000+11:00

Yes, I am quite the slack mofo. Waiting for Apple (don't ask) to build me a damn laptop. When they get that done (2050 maybe) I'll be regular here again. So yes, hope that clears up any mysteries.

Oh, and if anyone is going to see Veruca Salt, can you drag me along too please?

WWE SmackDown! vs Labor, Kyoto, FTA Stuff

2004-12-06T22:48:00.000+11:00

I'm going to continue with the WWE/ALP analogies as long as I possibly can.

Last week on SmackDown, there was a tag team match - Eddie Guerrero and Booker T vs the Basham Brothers. Anyway, things were looking good for Guerrero and Booker, up until they decided to start bickering amongst themselves halfway through the match. They stood there arguing with each other, and lost sight of the fact that they were trying to win a match. The Bashams snuck up behind them while they were preoccupied, basically kicked them in the head, and won. They now have to face the Undertaker and JBL in a fatal four-way in a few weeks, and have had the crap beaten out of them, putting them at a severe disadvantage for the main championship event.

There's a lesson to be learnt there, and if sweaty fat men grappling each other can't teach it, I don't know who can. Still trying to come up with a WWE analogy on Labor agreeing with everything Howard does in the name of "economic credibility."

Kyoto
Ian Campbell, Lib Environment Minister is off for a conference in Buenos Aires all about the Kyoto Protocol. You know, the one we have nothing to do with, courtesy of the Libs.

First up, Bob hands out a serve:

"Senator Campbell, the Environment Minister, is flying off to Buenos Aires in a flurry of self-congratulations about a failed policy," Senator Brown said.

"Australia is at the back of the pack. It's been taken there by the Howard Government.

"The refusal to sign Kyoto underscores a developing problem for Australia's future economy.

"The Government's permission for greenhouse gas emissions from the coal and gas-fired industries to increase at an unprecedented rate is covered by the non-government policy achievement of reduced land clearing, particularly in Queensland."
- Bob Brown

Then Labor (Anthony Albanese, to be exact) got in on the action:

"(The conference) is the 10th taking place under the auspices of the international community to lead up to the coming into effect of the Kyoto Protocol on February 16 next year," Mr Albanese told reporters.

"With Russia signing up to ratify the protocol, it will come into effect with only Australia and the United States missing out.

"Every Australian knows that Australia has refused to sign up to the protocol.

"But, guess what? The Environment Minister Ian Campbell doesn't mind jumping on a jet with staff and other Australian government officials and going to the conference in Buenos Aires to talk about the protocol that they're not signing up to.

"This is an extraordinary example of government arrogance, of waste and mismanagement."

He said the government had no credibility at the conference, having refused, along with the United States, to sign Kyoto.

"I guess the equivalent is, maybe Minister Campbell's a toolie at schoolies' week up on the Gold Coast," Mr Albanese said.

"He's not invited, he's not a participant and yet he wants to engage in a gratuitous way in some of the activities in Buenos Aires.

"It lacks credibility from a minister who won't ratify the protocol."

Then there's the whinging about us not supporting it because it disadvantages developing countries (and since when did Howard give a rat's arse about them? Didn't Bob Geldof call us embarrassingly pathetic?). Are we a third world developing nation? No, didn't think so. Odds are if 129 or so countries sign on for it, it is generally a good idea. More of a summary over at ABC News.

Eff Tee Aye
Yet more probs, this time in Internetland. Basically our copyright laws are going to become much harsher, as those were the demands of the MPAA/RIAA, and we all know how good the Libs are at negotiating with America and its companies.

The IIA (Internet Industry Association) claims the legislative changes would make possession of pirated materials a criminal offence, and could make internet service providers criminally liable for pirated material that exists on their systems. The IIA also believes the system of take-down orders proposed through the legislation would put an onerous administrative burden on its members.

Basically, when running a gigantic webserver with a few thousand user accounts, it isn't feasible to dig through every single user's home directory/webspace and whatever is stuck in the cache to determine what they have and whether or not it is illegal. With new legislation brought in, you'll either have to start doing things like that and risk pissing your customers off, or not do it, and risk pissing off gigantic corporations. Sucks to be an ISP.

“Not only will ISPs be bombarded by claims from copyright owners, but the new provisions require ISPs to disable access to users’ websites in response to any claim that material may be infringing”

“Incredibly, the provisions have even stripped away protections required by the FTA that ISPs be protected from damages claims if they take material down from the internet. We are now stuck between a rock and a hard place - we’re liable to copyright owners if we don’t act, and liable to our customers if we do”.
- Peter Coroneos, IIA chairman

More over at The Age and News Ltd.

Towing The Party Line
12 Libs are facing the axe from the party because they supported Peter King instead of Malcolm Turnbull during the election.

Back!

2004-12-05T19:40:00.000+11:00

Lesson In Life #46973: Whilst moonlighting is always good to make extra cash, it so isn't worth the extra time it requires.

So, so busy. I haven't even had time to pluck petals off flowers and wonder if Ms Fits loves me or not. This past fortnight has shown me how easy it is to just not care about everything that is going on. But I'll try and get back in the loop now.

I got my ALP membership card, all with my name nice and mispelt on it. Lovely. There's a new members night on Tuesday, but I can't make it. Best case scenario, if I caught CityRail into Sydney, I'd get there just as it was ending. Worst case scenario, I'd die of old age on the train. Thanks Carr. If anyone is going, could you punch him in the head for me?

First local branch meeting is on Friday, so hopefully I'll get to have a say on how the ALP is hell-bent on being the Liberal Party.

"You know, our best chance for re-election is to become the Liberal party!"
"Yes, that's brilliant! Because people would be more likely to vote for us if we don't provide any alternative ideas and just shout 'me too!' at everything!"
"This is genius!"
"You know what else? There's not nearly enough attempts to undermine our leader going on. I say we really try to damage him and our prospects, because that'd just be a fucking stupid thing to do."
"Yes!"

Secret conversations from within the upper echelons! I swear, it's getting stupider than the WWE. That's the only other thing I can think of that has factions, too.

I'll start posting again tomorrow. I'll be here all night if I'm going to write about everything that's been happening over the last two weeks (strange dealings going on in Queensland, Howard agreeing to see Michael Long after he walked 400km, the Daily Telegraph manufacturing a P plate "crisis," Miranda Devine somehow being on the panel into an inquiry on reading in schools), so I'll leave it for now. There's heaps of other sites to find all that out anyway.

2004-11-28T22:08:00.001+11:00

As you've probably noticed, Completely Biased is on a temporary hiatus at the moment. Hopefully all will be back to normal within a week.

The Ando Zone: Episode 10

2004-11-22T22:33:00.000+11:00

No charges will be laid in relation to claims Deputy Prime Minister John Anderson attempted to bribe an independent MP, the Australian Federal Police (AFP) said today.

Ando wins. Coincidentally this is the first time News Ltd has run this story as a header (wow, didn't see that one coming).

Apparently the evidence "does not sustain a charge." Bah. So either Ando has been innocent all along (which I really can't believe), or he covered his tracks too well. I suppose we'll never really know for sure.

The Ando Zone: Episode 9

2004-11-22T00:46:00.000+11:00

So you think the Nationals couldn't possibly be fool enough to blunder into a bit of ham-fisted jiggery-pokery to regain a prize bush seat they'd held for 80 years until the stolid Mr Independent came along and took it from them two elections ago? Don't be so wet. Do you really think Tony Windsor, after 13 years of a political career in a country town sustained only by local trust and confidence in his honesty and integrity and not by party political clout or organisation, would throw it away on a wild story with no basis whatever? Think about it. And think about the real issue here: the National Party itself and its gradual slide into political oblivion.

...Says Alan Ramsey, in an opinion piece inside the SMH, which is seriously lacking in commas.

This Ando saga has more twists than an M Night Shyamalan movie. Granted, his movies usually have only one big twist, but anyway, you get my point.

Maguire did his statement on Friday, and came out saying that no, Ando and friends never asked him to offer Windsor a bribe to quit politics. Yes, there was a meeting with Ando, says Maguire, but it was over funding for a National Equine and Livestock Centre. WebDiary talks about it more.

The Nationals immediately started calling for Windsor to resign, and Ando/Howard are demanding an apology. Before the investigation has even finished.

Latho wants the police to finish their investigation before anyone goes calling for anyone to resign, and also mentioned that Ando was apparently against funding the Livestock Centre, but was all for funding once Windsor was off the board.

And now the Greens are looking for cross-bench support for a parliamentary inquiry for investigations of impropriety with regards to the funding of the centre. But will they get one, considering the state of the Senate now?

The latest news now, appearing in the Herald Sun:

THE Australian Federal Police are believed to be sitting on explosive testimony backing claims that independent MP Tony Windsor was offered a bribe to vacate his parliamentary seat.

This just gets more and more interesting!

"It's a predictable pattern. Pulling all the ministers out now, to squash the little ant.That seems to me that they are taking it very very seriously. If this was a minor skirmish between Windsor and Anderson, having a bit of a biff over the sidelines, the PM would say let the boys have their go."
- Tony Windsor, on the calls for him to resign

The story continues...

Grogblogging

2004-11-21T02:40:00.000+11:00

Looks like Tim Blair pussied out. I thought RWDB's were meant to be all fearless and everything?

Okay, I shall write about the night in excruciatingly boring detail, as is the case when I go out somewhere.

We open on me scamming a lift to the station from my brother. I get there, buy a ticket ($9.80), then sit down at Blaxland Station and wait for the train to arrive. A girl comes up to me and says hi. I ignore her. She says hi again. I look up, and she looks very familiar.

"Do you know who I am?"
"Ummm... Alex?"
"Yes! I thought I knew you!"

Alex was my next-door neighbour for most of high school. She was a great person, but ended up going the drug-fucked teen route. Which sucked. She's an absolute stunner now. Anyway, quick chat and then the train arrived (7:11, more or less on time). And then it occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea where The Clock actually was. I'd looked it up on the net before I left, but had wandered off before the page loaded. I sent an SMS to Jess, but got no reply because she's an evil demon-lady spawned from hell who hates me. That and Vodafone were jerking her around. But mainly the first thing.

Anyway, grabbed a seat away from screaming kids, and sort of dozed in and out of consciousness for most of the trip. Ticket inspector appeared around Emu Plains; Darp rang soon after that with directions to get to the Clock. I noticed it had started raining, then fell asleep.

At around 8:40, the train pulled into Central. I was starving. And also needed to take a monster slash. Found the toilet, drained my lizard, then went on over to HJ's for some quality* food. Whopper value meal. Ate 3/4, felt like spewing, forced myself to eat the rest.

And then it was off to find Devonshire St! The main area outside Hungry Jack's had a map of Central, and I found Devonshire off to the side; if I followed Eddy Ave then Elizabeth St. Out I went, into the pouring rain, and started walking in what I hoped was the right direction. A few minutes later I was unsure, so I asked a few people who either just shook their heads and ran off, or said they didn't know. Finally a CityRail guy pointed me the right way, and within a few minutes I was trekking up Devonshire St in the pissing rain. This took a while, and I was starting to worry that I'd missed the intersection for Crown St, but kept on walking. And then I arrived on it! Took a left and at long last found the Clock down the street a few hundred metres.

By now I was drenched. I went into the hotel and wandered around. Couldn't remember if Darp said everyone was upstairs or downstairs. I didn't want to appear completely lost so I took a quick stroll around, and found nobody. I SMSed Darp again, then my stomach wanted to evict some HJ's. Walked off to the upstairs dunnies, and proceeded to drop a fat one. Darp rang whilst I was preoccupied with this task. Apparently we were all downstairs near the entrance, meaning I'd walked right past everyone when I went in. Oops.

In I go to the crowd, looking somewhat petrified/lost. Darp spotted me, did the big intro to everyone, then we all got started with some mutual sucking-up. Quite a lot of it actually. Met Jess, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Weezil, and Agent Fare Evader. Chatty chatty chat chat, then I started getting nervous, freaked out, and sat outside for a while.

I'm just really bad at the whole pub socialising thing. It just isn't something I'm totally comfortable with. Apologies if I came across as rude to anyone or anything like that, it's just that I suck.

Anyway, I went back in, wandered around packing my dacks, then a thought occurred to me that chewing gum would solve all my problems. I don't know why. It just appeared in my head. I headed out to go and find a convenience store, but Suki stopped me to say hi first. We stood outside and talked a bit.

She is awesome. Reminds me of an aunty of mine, in both looks and personality. Anyway, we talked for a bit and she said many nice things about me, then went back inside while I started my Quest For Spearmint Extra.

Basically it involved walking in a straight line for about a kilometre, buying gum, then walking back. Mission accomplished! I started chewing and felt amazingly confident. Then I went back in the Clock and felt just as nervous as before, but with a fresh minty (no, not twat) taste in my mouth.

"Well, that was a complete waste of time, you utter pussy," said a voice in my head.
"I concur, old chap," said another.
"Why not just grow some fucking testicles and talk to people? They know each other about as well as you do," said voice number one.
"Fine, if it'll make you shut the hell up," said me, in my head. This is making me sound like a crazy person, isn't it?

Wandered around a bit more, and said goodbye to Jess, as she was leaving. Then I ended up talking to Darp, Flashman, Pissed Guy In Green Shirt Whose Name I Can't Remember, and some chick whose name I didn't manage to catch at all. It was very noisy.

Following that, I went over to Suki and checked out her camera, which was quite cool. Met... TimT and another guy called Tim (gah, sorry, can't remember your address), who was proudly holding a printout of his blog traffic. And we were all suitably impressed. Oh God, we're pathetic.

I then got carried away watching the boxing, these two guys staggering around trying to punch each other out. Just wondering who'd collapse first. But neither did while I was watching! Amazing.

Wandered over and said hi to... THE FLUTE! He is so cool. Would've liked to have talked to him more, without doof blaring over the top of his voice. Ahh well, next time!

It was starting to get close to midnight at around this time, and I really had to get going, before my stagecoach turned into a pumpkin (last train out of Sydney's almost gone - at 12:11 (on my line anyway)). Darp & Co were also walking back to Central, so I went along with them. That made a party of Darp, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Agent Fare Evader, a girl who I later learned was called Giselle (that your girlfriend, Darp? Quite the looker!), and yours truly. We went back the same way I came, but with the difference of light drizzle instead of bastard rain.

I didn't say much on the way back; it was more interesting listening to everyone else speak. Eventually we reached the stairs at Central and parted ways. I picked a corridor at random and hoped it lead to the magical Platform 4... and wound up there! Woo! Bought a lemon/lime/orange 600mL Deep Spring, got on the train, sculled it, then went back to a half-asleep state.

At around 1:40, the train pulled into Blaxland, in pissing down rain. Due to me being too paranoid about leaving my car at the station, I was looking forward to a nice wet half hour walk home. But my parents, on their way home from a party of their own, called and offered a lift. I love them.

Got home, had a shower, wrote a heap of keywords to help me remember what happened last night, and crashed, only to wake up at 8 and go to fucking work. Ugh.

Now I shall sleep for what is hopefully a ridiculously long amount of time. Tomorrow can be Ando Day. I'm declaring it a national holiday. But as it's a Sunday, you can all have Monday off.

* this is debatable.

2004-11-19T00:33:00.000+11:00

I'll be there sometime. I'm relying on the trains though, so I might end up arriving on Monday morning.

CityRail. We'll get you there. Eventually.

The Ando Zone: Episode 8

2004-11-18T23:49:00.000+11:00

You know, it was just the other week I felt disappointed that I didn't get to use this graphic enough, as Ando didn't appear in the news nearly as much as I'd like him to. But now I'm having an Ando overload! Everywhere I look, I can't not see the Great One making a goose of himself! Maybe Sky News Active could devote a screen to Ando, like what they did with Howard and Latham during the election.

I would like to go on the record as saying I believe Windsor. Whilst tracking Ando the last few months it has become apparent to me that he really would be stupid enough to try and set something like this up. I also feel that Windsor doesn't have anything to gain by saying this, he only wants to do the right thing, otherwise he would've flat-out named Ando during the election.

The Road To Surfdom has an interesting analysis of Ando's statement in regards to the allegations.

The attention is now turning to Greg Maguire, the local Tamworth hotel owner who was sent to Windsor to ask him to stand down. Maguire agreed with Windsor that it was an absurd proposition, but just said that he was only the messenger (Windsor has given him his support (and at News Ltd too)). He is due to give his statement tomorrow, so this'll all get even crazier. Which side will he take? Has either side bought him off? Will a gigantic muckraking campaign kick off?

The mayor of Tamworth reckons this entire thing has been blown out of proportion, and that Maguire just said to Windsor that he was crap and should take a job overseas.

Windsor's campaign secretary, Helen Tickle has given a statement to the police, but won't discuss it with anyone.

I will change my predictions of a Bolt/Akerman puff-piece on Ando to a Bolt/Akerman character assasination on Windsor/Maguire based on what HackWatch said. It is much more their MO.

WebDiary is keeping track of everything going on in Question Time and elsewhere, and makes for an interesting read. Labor have been giving Ando a hammering over it.

The Age and News Ltd have further analysis on everything.

" ... I can simply say to you ... I fully support John Anderson, I believe him, he's a very honest person. I retain full confidence in John Anderson, and I haven't met a more honest, faithful person in public life. That's my view of the man. And I've certainly always found Senator Macdonald, the other person involved, to be very straight forward and honest."
- John Howard

But how much is the testimonial of a repeatedly proven liar worth?

Sell Me Out

2004-11-18T23:00:00.000+11:00

Sigh.

God I wish I had more time to rant about stuff. But anyway, in case you missed it, the FTA went through today. It comes into effect on January the 1st.

Canberra estimates the free trade agreement will boost the Australian economy by billions of dollars a year and create up to 30,000 jobs.
- Channel NewsAsia

That's right, now it'll be even easier to become a Maccas employee!

Some changes to copyright law were added at the last minute to allow easier buttfucking by record companies and whatnot. So, as Howard says, today is an historic day in Australia's history. A "once in a generation" opportunity to link itself to the US economy (you know, like what Botswana and Guatemala have done). You know, the one Bush has driven into the ground. I can imagine how it'll be seen in 20 years time.

Thursday the 18th of November, 2004: The day the government sold off something bigger than Telstra - the country.

The Ando Zone: Episode 7

2004-11-18T01:01:00.000+11:00

The shit hath hitteth the faneth, as that guy from Ten Things I Hate About You would say.

A while ago I wrote that all news about Tony Windsor had dried up after September the 28th. You may remember our beloved Ando called Windsor a "coward" for going to the police over these bribery allegations, and also that he basically admitted to doing it.

"Who in the National Party, apart from me in consultation with the PM and foreign minister, could have offered somebody a diplomatic posting? It could only have been me."
- Ando

Wow! And it looks like it was too! If Windsor just wanted to take Ando down, why not name names before the election was over?

The Daily Telegraph is incorrectly reporting that Windsor named the Nationals during the campaign.

Mr Windsor, who holds the electorate of New England with a huge majority, rocked the election campaign with allegations that the offer was made on behalf of the National Party.

At the time, he said an intermediary of the party had promised him a diplomatic post in exchange for him giving up the seat he has held since 2001.

If I remember right, Windsor refused to name any names or parties unless the police asked him to (and didn't give any names during the campaign at all), although everyone speculated it was the Nats.

Here's what Windsor said tonight (this is his full parliament speech):

Windsor's Parliament Speech
"Mr Speaker, the House would be aware that the Australian Federal Police have referred an alleged breach of the Commonwealth Electoral Act to the DPP for determination relating to an inducement offered to me not to stand for re-election at the election just held.

"The House would also know that the prime minister has called on me to name the names of those people involved in the attempt to bribe me.

"I would like to place on record, Mr Speaker, an account of a meeting that took place on the 19th of May 2004 at 10.30am at the office of Tamworth businessman, Mr Greg Maguire, in the Powerhouse Motorcycle Museum.

"The meeting was attended by Mr Maguire, Mr Stephen Hall, my campaign co-chairman, Miss Helen Tickle, my campaign secretary, and myself.

"I have had many meetings with Mr Maguire in the past relating to the development of the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre and Mr Maguire has also assisted with advice during previous election campaigns.

"It was assumed that the meeting was to be about the upcoming election and progress that Mr Maguire had made in relation to the equine centre concept on planning which was being developed for federal funding.

"Prior to that issue being raised, Mr Maguire indicated that he had spent four to five hours the night before in the company of the Deputy Prime Minister John Anderson and the National party Senator Sandy Macdonald and a black haired woman whose name he did not recall.

"Mr Anderson asked Mr Maguire to meet with me and give me some messages.

"Mr Maguire made a number of points regarding the previous night's meeting.

"John Anderson was paranoid about me and the demise of the Nationals and the rise of independents.

"Mr Anderson asked Mr Maguire to meet with me and give me some messages which Mr Maguire was then doing.

"Mr Anderson said that if I tried to get any credit from the funding from the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre that the funding would not take place.

"Mr Anderson was also concerned about my continued association with the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre, given my political position.

"Mr Anderson and Senator Macdonald asked Mr Maguire what it would take to get me not stand for re-election and indicated that there could be another career for me outside politics such as a diplomatic post or trade appointment if I didn't stand for the seat of New England.

"Senator Macdonald said: `offer him whatever it takes, we can deliver'.

"One of them also said, and I quote, `the government makes about 500 political appointments, it can be done'.

"Senator Macdonald also said: `Windsor has a pension, why does he want to hang around anyway, apparently referring to my 10 years in the state parliament.

"My response to Mr Maguire was: `Greg', and I know Greg Maguire quite well, `Greg, you should know, I'm - and there was an expletive put in here - I'm offended by that and you should know full well that I would not consider any such appointment'.

"Mr Maguire replied: `I know mate, I've just been asked to deliver the message'.

"My response was: `I cannot understand these guys and the lengths they will go to to get rid of me and to think that I would even consider such an offer'.

"I apologised to Miss Tickle for my swearing.

"My further comment to Mr Maguire was: `I believe - and I still do believe this - I believe this is an act of stupidity and desperation to regain the seat, tell Anderson and Macdonald I'm not interested'.

"Mr Maguire responded: `I still want you to get in touch with Anderson; Anderson is saying you won't talk to him' to which I agreed.

"And the conversation took place in this very spot a couple of weeks later.

"I believe that Mr Maguire was acting only as a messenger for John Anderson and Sandy Macdonald.

"The matter became public knowledge as result of discussions I had with Tony Vermeer from the Sunday Telegraph relating to my role in a hung parliament.

"The matter was subsequently mentioned in an article by this journalist in the Sunday Telegraph 19 September, 2004.

"I would like to point out, Mr Speaker, Mr Maguire is a very well regarded businessman in Tamworth, has been the prime mover in promoting the concept of the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre and I congratulate him on his success."

...And then he was out of time to speak. Ando made his response in the form of a parliamentary statement:

Ando's Response
"I completely repudiate the member for New England's allegations of improper inducements offered indirectly by Senator Macdonald and me earlier this year.

"I'd make the first point that there was no meeting on the 18th of May - I was in Queensland, Bundaberg, on the evening of the 18th.

"I have on three or four occasions met Mr Maguire. In total, I doubt that I've spent four or five hours with him. But I want to make it very plain that at those meetings neither I, nor the one in which Senator Macdonald was present, gave him any indication or authorisation to suggest to the member for New England ... that he might be offered some inducement in return for not running for the seat of New England.

"I cannot know what representations Mr Maguire might have made at the meeting that apparently took place on the 19th of May.

"But I can know that he had no authority whatsoever - implied, nuanced or whatever - from me or from Senator Macdonald to stand aside in return for some inducement.

"I understand that the police have interviewed a number of people in regard to this matter. They have not interviewed the member of my staff who was in attendance at the meeting that Senator Macdonald and I had with Mr Maguire. They have not interviewed Senator Macdonald and they have not interviewed me.

"But the matter is of course for them to take forward if they believe that there is a case that has to be answered by anyone.

"My position is quite simple on this one. I repudiate completely the claims. I do not engage in corrupt behaviour. So far as I am aware, at all times I have maintained what I believe to be both the law and the spirit of the law in relation to Australia's electoral matters.

"I think that matters. I think it's important. I think people who know me know that I think those things are important.

"And I said during the campaign that I would not do it, I haven't done it, and I would certainly not authorise anyone else to make those sorts of offers on my part.

"I said that during the campaign, I repeat it now. That is, so far as I am concerned, all that I intend saying on the matter."

WebDiary adds this interesting little bit:

Late tonight Mr Anderson produced his itinerary and flight details covering the 18th of May, 2004, when Mr Windsor alleged Mr McGuire met him. They confirmed that he was in Bundaberg, Queensland on the 18th, before flying to Gunnedah that night. It appears Mr Anderson met with Mr McGuire on May 15, 2004.

Now I'll post a comment by someone who will remain anonymous unless they want me to tag their name on it (you know who you are):

Mark my words, Anderson is in shit. He's denied it, naturally, but the facts are stacking, Ando. Tick tock. I'll be VERY surprised if a by-election in Gwydir isn't announced before the end of the year.

But this also holds other connotations. See, if there's a by-election Anderson will more than likely lose his seat. Gwydir will probably fall to Labor.

But more critically is Macdonald. A COALITION SENATOR.

For those who came in late, the Coalition holds the senate with an absolute majority of thirty-nine. Labor has twenty-eight, the Greens and the Democrats four each and Family First has one.

But if a Coalition senator is forcebly removed, if he isn't replaced with another Coalition member, then the Coalition will lose their absolute majority. They'll simply hold half of it. Let's assume Labor wins, now holding twenty-nine seats. The Greens and the Dems will back up Labor, bringing it up to thirty-seven.

Leaving just one to hold the balance of power.

FAMILY FIRST.

And if this causes enough outrage, there could be a double dissolusion, probably less than a YEAR after the Federal election.

The Nationals will be punished for bribing an MP. They will lose seats. Some they hold by a mere thread, and the smallest jostle will send them falling into Labor's safe hands.

Ever the optimist, but that's one hell of an interesting thought. I highly doubt we'd get a double-dissolution, but the Nats losing a Senate seat? That's a very real possibility.

Latho has gotten stuck into Ando also.

For more stuff (although all the stories are highly similar due to the shortage of source material):

Windsor says Anderson behind 'bribe bid' (SMH)
MP accuses Anderson of offering bribe (The Age)
Windsor names Anderson over 'bribe' (ABC)
Anderson named over bribe (News Ltd)
Anderson 'orchestrated' bribe bid (The Age)

Predictions:

Andrew Bolt (or the currently invisible Piers Akerman) will write a suckup article (if the Herald Sun don't omit the news altogether) on how awesome Ando is and try to make it sound like bribes are good.
This'll blow over in a month and Ando will get away with it, and still be deputy PM.

2004-11-17T23:30:00.000+11:00

I'm sure you will have heard that the federal minister for Education, Science and Training has announced a review into the teaching of reading in Australian schools.

He has made statements about 'phonics' and 'holistic' methods of teaching. He has been critical of teachers and of teacher training.

Dr Nelson's statements seem to indicate that there is one right way to teach and that his inquiry will identify this. There are different approaches to the teaching of reading. In very simple terms, one approach teaches children to analyse sounds and decode words. This is called a 'phonics' approach. The 'holistic' approach emphasises the use of contextual cues and other information to derive meaning from printed material.

There are some academics who hold quite extreme views. At one end of the spectrum there are academics who argues that the only way to teach anyone to read is to break the language down into component sounds and teach students to 'decode' new words.

At the other end of the spectrum is a 'naturalistic' approach, where the proponents argue that students learn by 'absorbing' the ability to read if the environment is rich in words.

Another version of this question asks, "should we identify what bad readers can't do and fix it, or should we identify what good readers do and teach all children those skills?"

The debate about which is more effective has been going on for all of my teaching career. The debate tends to be between academics in universities. You rarely find teachers debating which one of the two methods is best. In fact, there is very clear evidence that both methods work for some children. There is no evidence that either method works for all children.

Teachers use whatever information they can get hold of, work out what their students need and use whatever methods will work.

Our teachers all use a combination of methods. The NSW syllabus incorporates aspects of both approaches. None of our students have failed to meet the National Benchmarks referred to by Dr Nelson.

I fear that Dr Nelson's agenda has little to do with children learning to read. I wonder if he will select a panel of 'experts' to conduct his inquiry who will find that there is only one way to teach. I wonder if only public schools will be examined.

Dr Nelson might need to know more about the teaching of reading. I doubt that he needs an inquiry, that will cost millions of dollars, to get the information. There is no shortage of excellent books and journals that can provide the information. All he has to do is read a few.

I'd rather see the money spent on providing resources for our most disadvantaged students. We don't need a political inquiry. We need government commitment to public education.

Robert Binns
Principal

That's been pasted from a local primary school newsletter.

Half-Arsed Update

2004-11-15T23:29:00.000+11:00

I'm still here, just been busy for the past few days. Finally got a fulltime job. Still getting used to it, re: going to bed before midnight, etc.

When you join the ALP, are you meant to get a letter or something saying "yes, you are now in the ALP"? I signed up after the election, they've hit up my Visa card (about three weeks ago), and I got a letter the other day inviting me out for a meet & greet, but haven't gotten anything saying "you're in," or when meetings are or anything.

WebDiary is being updated again at last. There's a tonne of new stuff there now.

You know when you have an idea for something to write, then get home and find out someone beat you to it? Sucks, hey.

How come Piers Akerman's bilefest has disappeared from the Daily Telegraph's site? He on holidays or what?

Now for briefness.

Banks want the Libs to change laws so they can merge.
David Hawker is the new Speaker for the House of Reps. Fair and balanced? News Ltd seem to think so. At least he's better than Bronwyn Bishop.
Labor are opposed to selling off Telstra. Wow, who would've guessed? The ACCC and Telstra are also fighting yet again, this time over Telstra's abuse of their monopoly. And the Libs are unsure what to do over splitting Telstra up into wholesale and retail units, to stop monopoly abuse.

Baby Killing
Cabinet are going to discuss abortion. Ugh. Get the fuck over it already.

"It appears that there is a group within the Liberal Party that is prepared to go beyond the conventional bounds of this kind of debate, beyond conscience votes and putting a personal view and seeking to impose their views on the coalition as its official policy."
- Caucus spokeswoman quoting Latho

Rock on. The ALP is saying keep religion and politics the fuck away from each other.

Now I must sleep and stuff.

Again With The Baby Killing + Other Stuff

2004-11-10T19:48:00.000+11:00

After Two Cents' repeated Andoing of themselves, they've given up and taken the blog down. I think it was for their own safety; their heads would have exploded after much more defending of their opinions. Much easier to only have them read only by people that agree with you. Better equips you to expand your mind with different viewpoints. The whole thing even scored a mention on Crikey.

Abbott Found To Be Talking Out Of Arse Once Again
...Well, at least it beats the silent treatment.

There are no reliable figures on the number of abortions being performed in Australia, the Federal Health Minister has conceded.

Tony Abbott has previously raised concerns about what he calls an "abortion epidemic", saying 100,000 pregnancies are being terminated a year.

Well done. Just... Oh, I don't know what to say to that. I want to be a politician so I can make up stories and statistics too.

Howard has stepped in and said there'd be no government-sponsored change to abortion laws. Which basically means there probably will be.

He [Howard] said it was always possible for an MP to bring forward a private member's bill, and if that happened the Coalition parties would allow a free vote.

Mr Howard said he rejected the "absurd proposition" of any trade-off between the Government toughening its attitude to abortion and Coalition MPs' support for other legislation, such as Telstra's sale.

He said if people wanted to bring forward a private member's bill, they would have to assess the views of people within the parties in Parliament.

"It's not an easy issue," he said. "I would encourage those who hold strong views on both sides of it to recognise the strength of feeling of those who support in its entirety the present arrangements - that it is ultimately a matter for a woman to decide.

"Equally I ask those who hold that view to respect the fact that people on the other side of the argument believe that they are dealing with issues relating to the termination of a life and that those views are held with equal strength".

Hmm. Interesting!

The Prime Minister has sought to cool divisions in Coalition ranks over abortion, ruling out a Government change to the law - but saying he will not block a bid by individual MPs to introduce tougher legislation.

John Howard took the middle line yesterday amid speculation that some Liberal and National MPs could introduce a private members' bill, possibly seeking tighter laws on late-term abortions in the ACT and Northern Territory as a means of pressuring the states to change their laws.

That's the SMH, with more or less the same story as The Age. They're also running an interesting story on Australia's first abortion clinic.

In Other News, Grass Is Green

"Blue or white collar, tradesperson or professional, the most important factor was whether they had a mortgage," he [ALP National Secretary, Tim Gartrell] said. "Of the 15 seats with the highest proportion of mortgages, 11 had a higher than average swing against Labor. The sentiment was best summed up by a woman in a swinging voter focus group in the middle of the campaign, who said 'I like what Mark Latham and Labor are on about, I really want a change, but I'm scared about interest rates'.

He said a second, equally potent, perception which worked against Labor was Mr Latham's relative inexperience. Many swinging voters figured they could wait three years for John Howard to go and for Peter Costello to take over as Prime Minister, before voting for a more seasoned Latham.

OH WOW. IT TOOK A MONTH TO FIGURE THAT OUT (also here but broader)?!

United States Of Australia
Howard really seems hell-bent on emulating Bush/America at every turn...

Blind patriotism (all schools must be flying the Australian flag or we'll won't give you funding!)
Pandering to insane right-wing religious groups (Family First)
Tax cuts for higher income earners (last budget)
Fear campaigns during election time (Interest rates!)
Erosion of privacy laws (incoming anti-terrorism bills)
Making with the wars (Iraq)
Buying your way into Uni (incoming changes to uni laws for $100,000+ full fee-paying degrees)
Killing off healthcare (...but... safety net!)
Bailing on Kyoto

...And now trying to garner an international reputation of being a nation of idiots.

Universities of the future may no longer conduct research after a push by the Federal Government to establish teaching-only tertiary institutions.

The federal Education Minister, Brendan Nelson, yesterday told the vice-chancellors of the nation's 38 publicly funded universities that he wanted to amend the national protocols under which universities were established to make it easier for a diverse range of universities to exist - a move that might mean no research would be conducted at new universities, especially those in rural and regional areas.

The change is also expected to pave the way for more private universities.

It's good to see we're looking to the future.

"To be a university you must undertake research - that is the distinguishing feature."
- Carolyn Allport, President of the National Tertiary Education Union

2004-11-09T20:01:00.000+11:00

There's two main things in my life I get obsessively passionate about. One is politics, the other is web browser technology. Don't ask. Anyway, Firefox 1.0 has just been released. Welcome to the dawn of a new Internet!

2004-11-09T17:00:00.000+11:00

Sometimes I wonder how people so stupid can get into Uni. I suppose there'll be an even bigger influx of them when you're allowed to buy your way in.

This is the best thing I've read all day. I'd love to see Media Watch's take on the Bolt affair.

More Abortion Ramblings + Some Other Stuff

2004-11-09T02:47:00.000+11:00

Coathangers & Draino
At the time of writing this, at least 14,272 ordinary people have been killed in Iraq either directly by or as a result of this ridiculous invasion. Fourteen thousand, two hundred and seventy two. That's about ten Blaxland High Schools full. These are people at home with their families. People out on their way to work. Kids at school. Hospital patients.

They're dead.

And why? Was it because there was no way it'd be possible for them to lead a decent life?

Oh, it was because the leader of a country on the other side of the planet didn't like the leader of their country. That makes it perfectly alright then.

Fourteen thousand, two hundred and seventy two. Dead. People who were etching out lives. They're dead. Possibly blown so heavily to pieces that there isn't enough to bury. I'm sure children laying to rest the decapitated heads and a few other body parts of their parents are entirely grateful for America bringing "democracy" to their country (and obviously it would totally reduce any acts of revenge in the future).

Killing 14,272 people to get to 1 is a worthwhile investment if you're a backwards right-winger.

Abortion, however... Totally wrong! Kill entire families in the name of "freedom" if you must, but terminating an unborn foetus incapable of conscious thought?! That's just unthinkable! You murderer!

The Howard government's continued attempts to send us into the past seem to have succeded once again. Didn't the whole abortion debate die out in the late 80s? Yet here we are. Other Liberal initiatives:

Rewrite textbooks showing the world is flat, and that the sun rotates around the Earth.
Introduce slavery.
Deport people for shoplifting.
Removal of women's rights.
Ban the sale of penicillin and any medication developed via scientific research instead of superstition.
Dismantle all aeroplanes and cars, and bring back leaky wooden boats and horses as the primary modes of transport.
Undo Federation (which they'd probably do too, their shortsightedness making them unable to realise this would see them out of jobs).
All legal disputes settled via duels.
Bring back asbestos manufacturing plants!
Possibly ditch this whole democracy idea and go to a fuedal or oldschool monarchial society.

As much as I'd like to draw hand-paintings on cave walls and choose a spouse by clubbing her over the head, in the real world, time progresses forwards. Seconds increment. Clocks do not move in an anti-clockwise direction. So stop acting like they do.

Okay. Where to start with actual news stories? Umm. SA Family First Fucker, Andrew Evans wants women to look at ultrasound images before going through with an abortion. Because you know, obviously, having an abortion is a decision that people take as lightly as which pair of undies they're going to wear for the day. Good on you Andrew! Those silly females that can't think of themselves should be encouraged to grow their foetuses, even if they have no way of supporting them once they're born! Why should they even be making the decision?! They should be in the kitchen making your dinner!

Another FF fucker, this time Steve Fielding believes abortions should happen if the mother's life is at risk. Right. So he supports killing babies only some of the time. You know, just a few here and there. Seriously, I love how conservatives can block out the logical connections in their ideas. "I don't support abortion... but I do!" "Kiling people is wrong... But not if it's a war!" "I've personally got nothing against gays... but they should burn in hell for eternity!"

Peter Costello wants a "respectful debate," and also says abortion is a state issue and has nothing to do with federal parliament. Which explains this:

Liberal MPs are understood to be working on two private members' bills for when parliament resumes next week.

One would restrict access to late-term abortions in the Australian Capital Territory and the Northern Territory, where the commonwealth has jurisdiction, while the second would require women seeking a termination to obtain counselling independent of the abortion clinic.

Peter Beattie (premier of QLD) reckons the Libs have started this whole argument as a way of repaying Fuckwits First for their preference deal. Sounds a bit too conspiracy theory, but who knows?

The Telegraph has some more on the whole thing, including Labor's response.

Would cutting funding or banning it stop it from happening? Or would it just encourage partners to look it up on the Internet and try to do a DIY job (I'm just imagining a lifestyle show segment on it now), thereby endangering the mother's life as well?

Does the morning-after pill count in abortion figures too? Coz technically you're still killing the baby.

I'd like to point you at Zoe's post on her blog, as she's better qualified to rant about it than me (she actually has a uterus, etc).

The World Is A Safer Place
If that's the case, why is Downer going on about with terrorists with nukes? Bombing the shit out of stuff and reducing people's rights obviously is having a positive effect.

We Respect The Australian People, We Trust The Australian People...

Terrorism has put federal parliament's long-cherished tradition of an open house under threat.

Retiring House of Representatives speaker Neil Andrew today indicated it was only a matter of time before security glass petitions were used to separate the public gallery from the chamber.

Ugh. That's just disgusting.

Literacy In Schools
Minister Eyes Literacy Inquiry:

A national inquiry into the teaching of reading in primary schools is being considered by the Federal Government amid growing concerns that too many students are barely literate.

Education Minister Brendan Nelson told The Age he was considering holding the review after 26 of Australia's leading literacy researchers wrote to him warning that children were failing to learn to read, because the main teaching method in schools, the whole language approach, was ineffective for many and had no scientific credibility.

Hmm. Because continued education cutbacks wouldn't have this effect, would it?

I'd like to quote Charlotte, a friend of mine, who is 16 and sitting for her School Certificate at the moment, as she basically has an angle I never thought of:

the recent outburst in the lack of reading skills in schools i am going to blame partly on the lack of teachers, or as we know it, the world wide teacher shortage. because, if you think about it, very rarely, when at a young age, through junior school, and primary and such, when classes are larger, you dont get very much teacher assistance because they are always helping someone else. so, the problem you had that wasnt attended to, grows, and develops into being a large problem, and you are labelled with having a learning disability. when, if you got help with that one problem, you wouldnt be in that situation. but, that is just my opinion, and probably not right.

What's the bet that the findings are similar to the Vinson Report (summarised here), and the government completely ignores them (hi Carr!)?

Don't Forget
Interest rates rises are still on hold.

Lastly...
"This is a pure fight of good against evil."

Because the world really is as simple as an episode of He-Man.

Things That Annoy Me

2004-11-08T01:19:00.000+11:00

I really fucking hate comment spam. And for some reason I keep getting it from the site admin of Mayor Latham (see here, here and here. I don't know why the fuck my blog continuously shows up as being related to yours (because this referrer appeared the same time as your comment, so obviously you were looking for places to advertise), but anyway, I'll devote an entire post to this just to get your hits up so you can be happy and never come here again. Next time, please actually post something instead of just pasting a prewritten bit of bile into a comment box without even reading the site.

Square brackets are mine.

Having been a Labourer for the past seventeen years [in 17 years you haven't realised how they spell the party name?] I finally [you took your time] realised what a pathetic load of Left nonsense this web site has become [it's always been a "pathetic load of Left nonsense" since it started, it never "became" it]. After finally realising that the Unions were a load of crap [how so?] and finally realising that Unions NSW will still fork out massive ammounts of money to a certain political Party alligned and directly linked with the unions [well what the hell did you expect?], despite having a ridiculous name change. I have come to an understanding [must've stretched the brain] that the webmaster of this web site has been using god knows what [I'm straightedge and always have been] and following a stupid crowd of people [yes, I blindly follow everything they do] who are in essence cult [unlike Hillsong (*cough Costello cough*) or Assemblies Of God] followers of tree huggin idiots [but you stayed an ALP member for 17 years?] , I decided to make a difference, and difference I did make [must be a massive difference if you have to resort to comment spam]! I created mayorlatham.com that is http://www.mayorlatham.com [that was mayorlatham.com if you didn't catch it the first time], and why did I do this [because you're an idiot?]? mainly because I was sick and tired of arrogant [arrogant? A word usually used in conjunction with "Liberal"] slants towards the coalition [you do know what "completely biased" means, right?] and mainly due to the fact, that under paul keating I suffered big time [so why not make an anti-Keating site?], and in the present day I continue to sugger [I was going to do the spelling and grammar rant but it isn't worth it] under a bastardous government known as the NSW Government [run by... Bob Carr! Explains why you'd bag out someone that isn't him then!] in what looks to be the worst state government I have ever seen [if you actually read this site you'd note I continually bag out Carr as much as anyone], so I continued on with my campaign [against... Bob Carr? Oh wait...]! NO STUFF IT [there's a massive logical gap here]! Im going to seek out revenge against a man who worked with Bob Carr [and if you'd researched you'd know Latham can't fucking stand him] and punish at the federal level [because it was a federal matter, after all] for Mark Latham and the Carr Government's inactions in the Orange Grove saga [yes, you stick it to them, whilst Howard sneaks up behind you with an giant iron dildo]. Which in my case claimed the life of my wife who committed suicide after losing her JOB [if this is even true (I can't find any mention of it), there must've been something seriously psychologically wrong with her to kill herself over losing her job. Why didn't you notice? I'm sure she's happy knowing you're using her memory to pimp a website too]! So fucking wake up you loonies! I have had enough of this web site [so that explains your recurring visits then], and as you tried to ruin my web site [the one that you'd illegally registered as you were too chicken to put your name to (plus it wasn't even me that got it deregistered - although I fully support them)?], Ill do everything I can to get yours taken down [I'm sure the Blogger admins will be very responsive]!

That looks messy, doesn't it? Oh well.

So there you go! You've got an entire post devoted to your bullshit. Lucky you. Now go away before Downer approves a pre-emptive nuclear strike from JI.

2004-11-07T19:53:00.000+11:00

I feel like I need to get this out of the way before I can crap on about anything else.

The left half of the blogosphere has been living in harmony with the right half of the blogsophere for yonks. I mean, there's the occasional fight or trolling comment, but in general there's some respect for each side. I can't say I like any of them, but yes, there is respect there.

So what has happened now? Tim Blair, Mike Jericho, The Currency Lad, Evil Pundit and others have been around forever and there hasn't been a gigantic inter-blog war going on there, so what's the difference now?

I think it's that the aforementioned four bloggers would at least attempt a rational debate about something, whereas Mrs Ed and Co would stick their fingers in their ears, scream la la la, then go nuts yelling about some half-thought out opinion.

And why the writers of a certain blog (that isn't worth linking to) are just total flame-bait to the entire left half - they fit basically every stereotype the left has about the right.

Completely devoid of imagination and empathy? Check.
Unable to see anything from a different point of view? Check.
Can't work thoughts out to every possible outcome? Check.
Never worked a day in their life? Check.
Lives off mummy and daddy? Check.
Private schoolgirl cliché? Check.
Total hypocrite? Check.
Conflicting ideals? Check.
Double standards? Check.
Outlandishly expensive hobbies? Check.
Willingness to kick below the belt? Check.
Not above cheating? Check.
Inability to logically argue a point? Check.
Completely sheltered world view? Check.
Unwilling to get hands dirty/fight own fights? Check.

They're just so easy (and apparently in more ways than one). Unfortunately it's morons like this that sell newspapers, so I'm guessing their Internet prescence will get bigger and bigger, if only from the amount of lefties visiting their blog to laugh at it.

Weezil, Jess and David Tiley have more in-depth roundups on this whole thing.

Good! That's over with. Now I can leave you all with the US Air Force's calls for funding to research psychic teleportation, instead of you know, spending money on education, healthcare, whatever.

Link Whoring

2004-11-07T18:04:00.000+11:00

I'm working on updating all the links down the side of my blog. If you're not in it, comment with the URL of yours and I'll add it (so long as its mainly to do with Australian politics... and Left).

2004-11-07T02:37:00.000+11:00

Okay, who wants to do the 'bah leftie elitist etc etc' complaint?

EDIT: The original can be found here.

2004-11-07T01:42:00.000+11:00

I really didn't want to get into this inter-blog war, but...

I find it sad and quite cowardly that Andrew Bolt decides to go on the attack only after the unbelievably awesome Ms Fits slagged off someone that totally wanted to have babies with him. Sounds like someone went home crying to daddy.

2004-11-05T16:00:00.000+11:00

There's been a change of venue. As before, keep checking with Darp and Jess.

Ignorance Reigns Supreme

2004-11-05T02:55:00.000+11:00

Yeehaw!

I know if somebody was constantly out to ruin my life, I'd get rid of them the first chance I had. But I'm not everyone. Maybe they get off on it. Who knows?

So Bush has gotten in once again, this time thanks to terrorists hiding under the bed. The biggest danger to your freedom, America, isn't from terrorists, but from the moron you've re-elected. Fucking idiots.

But I'm generalising! Almost half didn't vote for him, pretty much in the states without a reputation for inbreeding.

Oh well. I doubt continuing on this course will be sustainable for much longer - go too far either way on the political spectrum and society will start to collapse.

What does America have to look forward to (stuff in square brackets inserted by me)?

He pledged to keep up the fight against terrorism [by continuing to wage war on other countries], press for stable democracies in Iraq and Afghanistan [which, less face it, will take a hell of a lot longer than four years], simplify the tax code [uh huh], allow younger workers to invest some of their Social Security withholdings in the stock market [because gambling your superannuation is a brilliant idea (this one is my favourite out of all of these)], raise accountability standards in public schools [only accountability standards, not actual standards in general] and "uphold our deepest values and family and faith [ie. go nuts with religion]."

Other items include reforms to the nation's intelligence community [reductions in privacy laws?], halving the record $US413 billion ($A547 billion) deficit [because he's done a good job so far], expanding health care coverage [without mention on affordability], a constitutional ban on gay marriage [you know, because everyone is an equal in America] and moving "this goodhearted [and empty-headed] nation toward a culture of life [by lowering the quality of it]."

Howard gave Bush a ring and made with the phone sex.

"This is a wonderful personal victory for a person who I like and who I believe has given strong and resolute leadership to his country and through the position he occupies to the anti-terrorist cause and the cause of freedom around the world."
- Everyone's favourite ball of hate with eyebrows

Yes, great. More people have died in Bush's reponses to terrorist acts than the actual terrorist acts themselves. So of course the world is safer! So safe that it looks like terrorism is becoming a growth industry (similar story here) in Australia!

Gimme The Cash!
The US government has hit their debt ceiling of $7.384 trillion dollars. So they're planning to do what any responsible government would do - borrow more, and increase their debt ceiling to $8.074 trillion. That's $8,074,000,000,000.

The Herald Sun says the Liberals are worried about effects of the US economy starting to flow down to here, but doesn't really quote anyone directly saying that.

Who Is Tony Abbott?
First, I'd like to give an extremely brief biography on Tony Abbott, so you can understand how he became the cockrag he is today. Then I'll rant about abortions.

Abbott's grandfather (Henry) promised God that if his boat didn't get torpedoed (it was 1939) whist travelling between Newcastle and Whyalla, he'd become a Catholic. So this is where the crazy religiousness in Tony Abbott first originated (incidentally, I was raised Catholic too, but gave it up).

Tony Abbott was born in London on the 4th of November, 1957 (which is incidentally his birthday right now, making him 46), to two Australian parents. They eventually moved back to Australia in 1960, first staying in Bronte with his mum's parents, then moving to Chatswood.

Abbott's dad constanty told Tony how clever and talented he was, and sometimes often superior to others around him. He originally went to Highfield Kindergarten, then to the Holy Family Convent. In Year 3, he ended up at the St Aloysius College, and once copped a whipping from a priest for holding another boy's hand.

When he was 13, Abbott got into the St Ignatius College, which is one of the most expensive in the state. During this time, many of the students at the school perceived him as arrogant smartarse.

In 1971 the Abbotts moved to a two-storey house in Killara. In 1973 Tony met Father Emmet Costello (he worked at the school), who got him heavily interested in politics.

In 1976, Abbott started Economics at Sydney Uni. Whilst in his first year at Uni, he lived in St John's, which was an on-campus Catholic college. At the end of the year, he got on the SRC.

In 1977, he and a friend went to Monash Uni for the annual Australian Union of Students conference, and basically got into a huge fight there (and from what I've read, I seriously don't blame him).

And also in his second year of Uni, Abbott knocked up a chick whom he'd known since primary school, but his family had never heard of. Condoms? Sin!

So what's the best thing to do, seeing as though they'd since split up and neither wanted the baby? Abort the foetus? Or let it grow, get born, then throw it out to get adopted, in the hope that someone else would clean up their mistake?

So now somebody out there, around about 26, is roaming around, unknowingly containing the DNA of a twat. Poor them.

Jeez this is going on isn't it? Okay, Abbott scored a scholarship to Oxford Uni, arsed about in India, started boxing whilst at Uni, arsed about in Africa (amazing how he can afford all this without ever having a job, isn't it?), then came home and decided to become a priest.

So off he went to St Patrick's, training to be a priest whilst doing some dick-dipping on the side (interesting that someone so morally righteous gets to make with so much shagging, isn't it?). He quit in 1987, after a few years of it.

FOR FUCKS SAKE TONY, YOU'RE 29 NOW AND HAVEN'T HAD A PROPER JOB (insert me bitching about Abbott criticising Latham (who, after his dad died, worked to support his family at the age of 21) about "only holding one proper job" prior to becoming a politician).

Following that, Abbott met Howard, wound up in the Liberal party, and is now the Minister for Health. Should someone as overtly religious as him be in control of such a portfolio? I for one, think hell no. Why not put him in a field where religion plays no part? Environment or Transport or something?

Baby Killing
And abortion is the main reason I think Abbott should be kept the fuck away from Health.

A few days ago, the Catholic Church demanded an inquiry into abortions in Australia, citing it was at epidemic levels (a quarter, which does seem quite high).

Christopher Pyne, Parliamentary Secretary for Health, as well as Abbott, have been crapping on about it this past week. Pyne saying they should never be done after 21 weeks, Abbott alternating between ranting and total silence (can't say I'm comfortable with Abbott going completely silent when asked what his department is looking at doing - gives me feelings that they're drawing up potentially unpopular legislation). And then Latham stepped in and told them to shut the fuck up.

"You've got to respect the right of women to make a choice and you've got to respect the fact that they get expert medical advice from their doctors. It's not for politicians to get in the middle of doctors' consultation rooms in circumstances where people have got to make a judgement about their own future. I would much rather respect women and doctors and medical advice then go on the advice of a politician like Christopher Pyne."
- Latho

However, for all this talk, nothing looks to be changed in the near future. But I don't doubt something'll happen along the line. Family First are getting in on the action too.

I read somewhere that there was a grand total of nine late-term abortions in NSW last year. I can't remember where though. So obviously it's a gigantic problem.

Despite letters being passed around the Liberal party to shut the hell up, Abbott is continuing talking about it.

Note that neither Tony Abbott or Christopher Pyne have vaginas.

"A woman's body is her own fucking business."
- Jay, Dogma

And in unrelated news, doctor's are planning to charge more. Abbott's shocked and appalled. Wow, arsehat, I remember everyone saying they'd do this regardless of your Medicare-rebate-for-GPs bullshit back during the election.

Bye Barto
Reluctant Allison Ready To Lead Dems:

A reluctant Lyn Allison says the Australian Democrats must return to their core values if the party is to survive the next three years.

Senator Allison, who is set to take over from Andrew Bartlett as the party's leader, denied the Democrats were in political dire straits but conceded it faced a major battle to remain relevant.

And she has opened the door to closer ties between the party and the Australian Greens.

I liked Bartlett, if only from reading his blog. Ahh well. He had this to say about Bush...

To keep things in perspective about the relevant importance of things, the voters of the USA also decided on their President around the same time. This is way more important and WAY more depressing an outcome. I wouldn't want to overstate the positives of John Kerry, but George Bush has clearly shown himself to be dangerous and divisive. This is not a good thing at the best of times, but when you're in charge of a nation that is by far the most militarily powerful in history, surround yourself with key advisors and Ministers who have ideologies and records that favour increased Govt power and military expansion and reduced human rights AND your own record already shows a clear willingness to deceive on major issues and appalling diplomatic and military judgement, then it's hard to see this result as anything other than a disaster.

A sad and distressing day.

Happy Birthday Abbott...

2004-11-04T23:49:00.000+11:00

...You twat.

Bah

2004-11-03T18:02:00.000+11:00

I'm calling it for Bush. Well, I have been since about midday.

Can't say I'm shocked or anything. After our elections, I've been pessimistic about things, and it looks like I haven't been proved wrong yet (although I'd much like to be).

All I want to know is how much worse things have to get before they start to get better. Surely the world can't keep sliding downhill forever?

So say hi to another four years of Howard and Bush. Or fly a plane into something. Either way.

Can anyone imagine what the world will be like in four years? It's not that far away, but it's so blurry.

2004-11-03T16:47:00.000+11:00

Who knew?

M&M's, Telstra, Senate Fun, Labor Losing The Plot?

2004-10-30T02:08:00.000+10:00

Eminem Does His Bit
In case you haven't seen it yet, Eminem's anti-Bush music video (Mosh) is doing the rounds on the Internet (here it is in QuickTime (47MB), or in Windows Media (streaming)). This is the latest in a line of songs about the state of America, including Green Day's American Idiot, Michael Franti's Bomb The World, NOFX's Franco Un-American and shitloads others.

"Wow, you know that Eminem and I have had our differences in the past, but this video is the best thing that I've seen all year. It's an amazing song and an even more amazing video. Please go watch."
- Moby

No, the song doesn't do anything for me, but I doubt this release has much to do with record sales.

I wish something like this'd happened here. Celebrities, artists, people that get looked up to - they should be trying to get people to care about their vote, to quit being apathetic and make sure it counts. Stars are telling people to vote in red carpet interviews, popstars are holding up "VOTE" shirts when they win at the VMA's, all sorts of shit. And here? I mean yes, in JJJ land everyone was talking, but over in Austereoville, there was absolutely nothing. Where was Delta's anti-Howard song? What do we have?

Speaking of being more like America, when do you reckon this'll start happening here?

Senate Seats
The Greens have scored a fourth Senate seat, from Western Australia, and Labor grabbed the final South Australian seat.

You're Fired!
The Nationals Senate leader, Ron Boswell is claiming they hold the balance of power in the Senate (he's also saying the first thing they should pass is unfair dismissal laws). Costello is telling him to shut up.

The Liberals are trying to get Labor to agree with them on their IR policy.

"The ALP said that it's reviewing its policy, its disastrous policy, on industrial relations," Mr Andrews said. "It's saying that it will be more business-friendly. This is the first test for the ALP as to whether they are going to be business-friendly. If they are, then they will get behind this legislation."
- Kevin Andrews, Workplace Relations Minister

"The long-term test here is what will the Government do after the first of July when it has unbridled power. Will it conduct itself in its traditional zealot ideological way or will it agree with Labor that the best way of getting economic growth, the best way of getting productivity in the workplace, is flexibility with fairness?"
- Stephen Smith, (new) ALP IR Spokesman

The ACTU is warning the ALP "not to suck up to businesses" as a way of scoring points.

"The Liberal Party is like your Republican Party, whereas the Labor Party is like your... Republican Party."
I think this post on LiveJournal sums up what a lot of people are thinking:

And this is certainly the time to be trying to change the Labor Party, now that it's in post-massacre freefall. My major fear is that in the attempt to beat the Liberals, Labor will become the Liberals, and that's what I want to fight.

There's an internal review on Labor's plans to get troops out of Iraq, throwing the Tasmanian forests policy out the window, and putting the tax policy in the republic box. Schools and Medicare Gold are staying though.

But why axe the forestry policy? If it was a load of shit then yes, but just because the announcement and media coverage was a disaster, doesn't mean the policy itself was. Bah.

The whole thing with Gillard pulling out of the running for treasury just to make certain factions happy was just pathetic. It seems like they've all lost sight of the big picture.

Making Life Sleazier
Full steam ahead for selling off Telstra! Privatising a monopoly is the best idea ever!

Helen Coonan (IT Minister) is already getting set to hold talks (here too) with Barnaby Joyce (the Nats guy that got the Liberals over the line in the Senate) about flogging off Telstra. The Nats don't want to sell Telstra until services in the sticks are fixed. Costello says he won't sell it unless the share price goes up, and will keep the majority Australian owned. Uh huh.

But as was pointed out to me on IRC this afternoon, the combination of wireless Internet and VoIP means that life without Telstra could well become a reality soon.

ATO Bent Over
Remember voting for a new tax system with less complexity, red tape and loopholes?

Cross-Media Ownership
Fairfax (makers of the SMH, AFR and The Age) shares have risen amidst speculation of a takeover once cross-media laws are chopped. Good for business, bad for the... bugger it, you know how it goes.

"Who Do You Trust...?"

2004-10-29T18:47:00.000+10:00

Election Is About Trust, Says Bush:

"Who has earned the trust of the American people? Who do they believe in? Who do they believe can fight and win the war on terror and keep Americana secure?"
- George Bush

Holy shit, that sounds way too familiar.

Things I Would Do If By Some Accident I Became PM Of Australia And Had A Senate Majority

2004-10-28T20:17:00.000+10:00

Get rid of HECS.
Tear up the FTA (in a public display).
Fix the disaster that is CityRail.
Give public service workers that deserve it a fat pay rise.
Ban the sale of nicotine (fine, keep smoking, but not because you're addicted).
Ban corporate donations to political parties.
Remove restrictions on free-to-air digital TV content.
Get the fucking republic already.
Reduce the voting age to 16.
Change water pricing so that the price per kL jumped up the more you used (after determining an average usage).
Fix private school funding once and for all.
All media outlets have to carry announcements stating their leanings (which are independently determined, and wil reside on the front page, or start of every news program).
Actually get Internet access in Australia up to the same standards as the rest of the world (re: pricing/speed).
Give Telstra a massive kick up the bum.
More funding for Australian movies, and base grants on how decent the idea sounds, not at random.
Get a good compromise between unions and employers - too much of either is a bad thing.
Try and introduce an independent national newspaper (ie. ABC in print).
Give the ABC an arseload more funding, so decent shows like Wildside can reappear.
Introduce a reality/half-arsed TV tax, so those shows cost more to make than regular drama.
Improve the standard of kids shows on TV. What happened to shows like The Girl From Tomorrow or Spellbinder? All there is now is rehashed stuff like series 67 of Round The Twist, or some shitty show based on whatever fad is at the time. HI, DECENT STORIES AND WILLINGNESS TO TRY SOMETHING DIFFERENT, WHERE ARE YOU?
Reconciliation and looking at fixing problems the Aboriginal community faces, instead of just throwing money at them and hoping they'll go away.
Male or female - identical pay and conditions. Except maternity leave. Obviously.
Keep religion and politics far, far away from each other via legislation or whatever.
Ban poker machines, replace them all with Keno or a TAB outlet.
Build stages around rural areas and fund all-ages concerts for Australian music (annoys me because we have no local outlet now, thanks to the pub changing management).
Fix the unfair border problems with East Timor so they can get the hell out of poverty.
Let the current crop of refugees out (they've had more than their fair share of being fucked over), then review the laws.
Quit with all the tax cuts and actually use the money to pay for services.
Have a John Howard day, kind of like a Guy Fawkes day thing, where we can burn effigies of him and dance around happily.
Have a licensing scheme for Internet use, like the RTA has for cars and WaterWays has for boats (ie. you have to pass at least a basic IQ test and an exam on viruses/spyware/common problems etc). Just think of the reduction in spyware, virus outbreaks and everything if everybody in Australia actually had to know what they were doing before they got online.
Find something to get Kyle and Jackie O arrested for. Maybe Bob Carr too.
Go with Latham's idea of a fourth commercial TV channel with 100% Australian content.
Make all editorial pieces that newspapers publish online have a comments section.
Never, ever kiss the arse of a foreign leader.
Get out of Iraq, spend the money saved on aid, education, etc.
Legislation for gay marriage.

That's for starters. Vote 1 Completely Biased 2007.

Independent Media

2004-10-28T13:15:00.000+10:00

Reporters Without Borders has released its third annual Press Freedom Index. It's a ranking of countries around the world, based on how much independence and lack of government interference the press in that country has.

Denmark, Finland, Iceland, Ireland, Netherlands, Norway, Slovakia and Switzerland all come in at #1. New Zealand at #9. America at #22 (equal with Belgium). The UK at #28 (equal with El Salvador and Hungary).

Where's Australia? Oh there it is, at #41.

And now with Senate control, do you reckon we'll slide further down the list?

The Age has two articles on cross-media laws. The first one writes about possible combinations that could come about, and the second is an opinion piece by Gregory Hywood saying it's the best thing since sliced bread. There's an argument going on in their "Your Say" area.

Australia: Property of John Howard

2004-10-28T12:42:00.000+10:00

Blogger is crap. This is the second time I've written this post now.

Who is Barnaby Joyce?

He is the guy that won the last Senate seat.

It was unclear (although highly likely) whether or not the Liberals were going to get control of the Senate. Now we know for sure. At 11AM today, the AEC flipped the switch on the doomsday vote-counting machine and it started sorting preferences for the final Senate seat. Greens vs Nationals.

And Barnaby Joyce won.

From the National party.

Awesome. Now it has been made official that we're the most backwards nation on earth. *plays national anthem proudly, marries sister*

Around the grounds:

PM's Clean Sweep: Senate Control (SMH)
Howard Wins A Senate Majority (News Ltd)
Howard Government Wins Senate Majority (ABC)
Howard Wins Control Of Senate (The Age)
Howard Wins Senate Control (Daily Telegraph)

Blergh.

Nomes sent an email this morning regarding London exit polls. A small bit of good news:

Hello bloggers!

Remember the positive London exit polls? Proof positive arrives. This is via
Scott, my London UK Campaign Director friend! He has a friend of a friend
who was scrutineering for Steve Georgiannas (sp?) in Hindmarsh ...

"it was a roller coaster! our lead kept getting smaller, then it would grow
a little. on the last day we were only 45 votes in front, with 349 to count.
half of these were London pre polls. we were very concerned about these as
previously the London postal votes had slaughtered us but we won them
convincingly and ended up winning by 113!! the Iraq war was what saved us
ironically."

A small consolation in dark days of lost Senate majorities.

regards, Naomi

I'll write more when I get home.

2004-10-26T18:20:00.000+10:00

Craptacular.

2004-10-26T02:18:00.001+10:00

Completely Biased, yesterday:

Rudd would be my next choice [for treasurer after Gillard]. But it'll probably go to some other fucker, thanks to the long happy tradition of Labor shooting itself in the foot.

The Age, early today:

Labor's "glimmer twins" - Wayne Swan and Stephen Smith - are set to get front-line economic jobs today as the Opposition battles to boost its economic credentials.

Mr Swan is favourite to become shadow treasurer, while Mr Smith is expected to go into a mega-portfolio focused on micro-economic reform. This would include responsibility for industry and industrial relations.

2004-10-25T13:10:00.000+10:00

The Australian Communications Authority (ACA) is conducting an inquiry into why silent phone numbers were called by both the Prime Minister's and Treasurer's automated, prerecorded election phone calls.

Under a code of practice, silent numbers are not to be used or passed on for commercial purposes.

The ACA had given the Liberal Party until last Friday to provide a written explanation as to why silent numbers were used.

But a spokesman for the ACA says the Liberal Party has asked for and has been given an extension.

The Government ignored laws?! What strange world is this that we live in?!

And will Barto (blog here) keep his job? We'll find out today!

2004-10-25T11:53:00.000+10:00

Oh bloody buggering hell. Jules has pulled out of the running (SMH, News Ltd) for shadow treasurer.

Rudd would be my next choice. But it'll probably go to some other fucker, thanks to the long happy tradition of Labor shooting itself in the foot.

The Jules Factor

2004-10-25T01:56:00.000+10:00

Jules. So cool that she wears a suit even when at the beach.

What'll happen with treasury? All is apparently revealed on Tuesday. The ABC reckons Gillard is the favourite to get it, however The Age says she's bowed out of the running for it (although she specifically doesn't say that herself). The Daily Telegraph is reporting that while she is still favourite for the position, a whispering campaign is going on inside the party to damage her chances (their editorial says Labor should quit its damn fighting). The SMH also has the same thing. The Sunday Telegraph is running a story that sounds like it has been lifted from New Idea, with the amount of "anonymous sources" it quotes.

I want to see her as treasurer because:

She's a leftie.
Second coolest person in the party should have the second highest job (how totally awesome is my flow of logic?).
She actually has fucking charisma (which always helps in a job the media follows heavily - hi Crean!).
She's been doing a good job with Health (and don't forget Costello staking his "economic credibility" on something that turned out to be completely wrong!).
Odds are Abbott is moving to Treasury* when Howard gets hit by a bus, and she's proven time and time again she can take him on.

* Much thanks to Clare for pointing out a stupid typo where I accidentally wrote "Health" instead of "Treasury."

Reasons To Be Embarrassed/Scared, Part 6507

2004-10-24T02:50:00.000+10:00

It's Time To Go...
Hi dickheads that gave the Libs a Senate majority! Glad to see your corpses aren't festering in a ditch somewhere! So, what fun things can we expect with new anti-terrorism laws?

Powers to strip-search and detain kids as young as 12.
In court, investigators don't have to reveal how they've gotten evidence ("uhh, I kidnapped and tortured his wife for information, but don't tell anyone")
No more having to get those pesky search warrants! Tap phones? Read people's email? SMS's? Go for it!

Sounds much like Bush's Patriot Act. Hurrah!

Kyoto
Russia's lower house of parilament signed off on Kyoto, so it's all good to go for them. Australia and America (Clinton helped negotiate the protocol, Bush fucked it off - wonder what Kerry's stance is?) are still the only two developed nations on the entire planet that haven't signed on to Kyoto. And both countries are run by utter twats! Who would've guessed!

"Because we're so isolated now, Australia is seen as a laggard in the set. It's not looked too good for leadership on greenhouse gas approaches and solutions, and more generally it leaves us outside the fold of the international community."
- Danny Kennedy, Greenpeace Campaign Manager

Remember - even a one percent emission reduction is still better than zero percent. So suck my balls, Ian Campbell.

Is a characteristic of the Right an inability to see into the long-term future?

Baa
PETA is getting US companies to boycott Australian wool, due to our policies of jamming live sheep into a boat and sending them overseas. Howard's hoping the boycotts won't spread.

The Rest
America wants more troops sent over to Iraq. Howard is trying to figure out how to say no (Howard saying no to Bush?!) without "causing embarrassment to Australia." The UN also wants more troops sent over to protect health workers, but the links for that have died.

Liberal MPs and pyramid schemes? Hmm.

Tanya Plibersek (one of the new frontbenchers for Labor) is having a kid.

Musical Chairs

2004-10-23T02:46:00.000+10:00

I'm sitting here listening to JBT (and I'm also sitting home on a Friday night writing about politics of all things), when whoever this anonymous guy is mentioned that Andrew Bolt said JBT are TOTALLY EVIL. I actually laughed. Then I remembered last year at Splendour where John Butler sacrificed a virgin to voodoo gods by punching through her ribcage and pulling her heart out, then eating it (his dreads are really snakes too). Then the band threw faeces at the crowd and spoke backwards for half an hour. No, really.

John Butler is an ARIA-winning musician who says he's full of love and peace, but many of his songs have a powerful back-beat of hatred.

Funkster John Butler was this week crowned Australia's best male artist, although the smell of his sermons makes me wonder if he's just the kind of artist that helps turn the grass green.

Still, you can always learn from our faddish preachers, and from Butler I've learned that hypocrisy and hate now pass for idealism and peace among our surly young.

Personally, I think Bolt tries to find the most whacked out possible thing to argue against, then challenges himself to back it up (or maybe he just really is that desperate to stick up for people who call Howard names). I would not be surprised to see an editorial where he proclaims the world to be flat.

Anyway, time to get to the political bit.

New People
Howard and Latham both did their cabinet reshuffles today. The Libs have two new faces, and Labor has seven.

Okay, time to meet the new freaks and geeks. The following contains lots of ugly people. It helps if you squint a bit.

People you can grow to despise in the next three years:

Brand New Right Wing Death Beasts

De-Anne Kelly	Peter Dutton

The new ones in the shadow ministry:

All-New Defenders Of The Universe

~~Chris Farley~~ Bob Sercombe	Joe Ludwig	Penny Wong

Tanya Plibersek	Arch Bevis	Tony ~~Barber~~ Burke

	Jan McLucas

I think it's pretty sad that there's a big fuss made over women in parliament. If sexism was dead then having women in parliament wouldn't be a newsworthy thing (both leaders made a big deal over it). Or am I talking out of my arse?

Latham got re-elected as leader. Goddamn Jenny Macklin is still Deputy Leader - bah. If Labor lose in 2007 I blame her.

Chris Evans is the new Senate leader, replacing John Faulkner.

Positions for everyone will be announced on Monday. Here's hoping the awesome Gillard gets treasury (no mention of Rudd in that article... hrm). Crean is staying on the front bench. Please, please hide him from public view.

The House Of Representatives is more or less finalised, with the Coalition taking 87 seats, and Labor taking 60. I can see why Gough Whitlam is so pessimistic.

The Senate
Now, onto Senate control. There's a slim chance it might not happen. Family First look like they're losing that Senate seat to the Nationals, then another report said the Nationals looked to possibly be losing the seat to One Nation (whose preferences go over to the Greens, giving them the final seat). If this happens, then it looks like the Liberals will be one seat short of a majority. So there's still (a tiny bit of) hope that we might have a sane government yet (although I doubt it, even if they don't get the majority)!

...And in a major case of the Andos, the Greens are looking at a legal challenge if the QLD Senate result doesn't go their way. Hmm.

Latho said he'd take full responsibility for the election loss and answered a few questions today at a press conference (I was sad enough to watch the entire thing on the Latham channel on Sky News Active). He was very relaxed, making jokes and everything. Howard channel featured Howard being a twat. But as if I'd say anything else.

Howard's been busy making all sorts of new ministers. As Clare said, maybe there'll be a Minister For Making Shit Up soon.

Interest Rates
Economy To Steer Through Price Perils:

Provided oil prices do not spiral further, the bank believes they will not spill into a general increase in inflation in Australia. As a result, they should not force the bank to raise interest rates. The bank's analysis of the economic consequences of high oil prices, published in its monthly bulletin yesterday, is more relaxed than a report published this week by one of its directors, Warwick McKibbin.

The Rest
Michael Kirby, High Court judge, said union baggers should shut the hell up. Woo!

The ALP owns the ACT, winning the state elections last week with a big majority.

And Downer has been making a goose of himself once again, but that's not really news is it?

This post feels lacking in quality. Sorry.

The Ando Zone: Episode 6

2004-10-23T01:05:00.000+10:00

Latho called for Ando to stand down today.

This week Nationals star Larry Anthony conceded he had lost his seat of Richmond to Labor.

Mr Latham promptly said Mr Anderson should "now keep his campaign promise to stand down as leader if the Nationals lost any seats".

Mr Anderson retorted that the Nationals appeared to have picked up two Senate seats and that meant a net gain of one seat in Parliament.

"(That) means the Nationals' party room will be expanding," Mr Anderson said. "Thanks to the Nationals, the Coalition is set to hold a majority in the Senate."

Bollocks! I never considered that. *shakes fist at Ando*

Ando also called Latham's campaign "the most incompetent campaign the Western world has seen since Walter Mondale's disastrous US presidential run of 1984".

*shakes fist again*

2004-10-21T01:33:00.000+10:00

Come along people! I'm not sure how I'm going to get there, back, if I can afford to go, or even what I'm going to do there, but I'm coming!

Point your compasses at Darpism or Ausculture for more info.

Do The Hokey Pokey

2004-10-21T01:26:00.001+10:00

Lack of updates, partly because there's less going on as it isn't election time, the next one is so far away, and lastly because all my spare time has been taken up reading the final Dark Tower book. I'm about 100 pages out from the end - feels weird to be reaching the end of a ~3800 page story I started reading 11 years ago.

So what's news then? Hrm.

Piers Akerman, the fuckstain I love to hate, has managed to hork up another 32 sentences of bile that somehow doesn't dissolve the cheap paper its printed on. It's a rare talent to be able to drool words. I hope the Libs lose in 2007, if only to see what it is that someone would write whilst their head is exploding.

"The primary problem is that, to a quite extraordinary degree, the Government really set the terms of engagement both for itself and for the Opposition. It's as if (the Government) said, 'Let's concentrate on the economy'. 'Right,' said Labor, 'don't raise the Iraq war, refugees, Aborigines - don't mention any moral issues, let's just talk about money.' Once they decided that, (the Government) really had Labor on toast."
- Barry Jones

There's big rumblings going on inside the ALP at the Federal level (although Carr is saying some major stuff too). Lots of shuffling and fighting going on.

So far there's been seven frontbenchers that have stood down. Simon Crean, Kim Beazley, Bob McMullan, Lindsay Tanner... bollocks I can't remember the others. Wait... John Faulkner, Craig Emerson and Daryl Melham maybe.

Friday is the big caucus day, and we'll find out who the new frontbenchers are.

Dems - nice knowing you.

Interest rates are likely to rise substantially in the next three years while the economy heads for a downturn, the economic forecaster BIS Shrapnel has warned.

BIS Shrapnel made the forecast in its latest Long-Term Forecasts 2004 to 2019. The report said it was a myth to think that Australia's moderate growth, low inflation and low interest rates could continue forever.

...from Interest Rates Tipped For A Substantial Rise.

I'll try and post more stuff over the next few days.

Finally - Howard Vows To Take On Unions.

Slave Labour: Get More For Your Money!

The Ando Zone: Episode 5

2004-10-21T01:14:00.000+10:00

You might recall previously on The Ando Zone that the Nationals were in danger of losing a seat. You'd also recall that Ando said he'd resign if they lost any seats.

So what's happened then?

Anthony Era Ends In Richmond
An eight-decade political dynasty ended today when the Nationals' former federal frontbencher Larry Anthony conceded he had lost the northern NSW seat of Richmond to Labor.

So Ando would step down then, right? Or was it a non-core promise? I feel so used!

FTA Fun, Fair Dismissal, Gillard Love, Miranda Devine Is An Idiot

2004-10-16T02:12:00.000+10:00

At 12:13AM I dropped my ALP application in the postbox, finally. The sight of Bob Carr on the brochure seriously made me second-guess my decision, but I stuck with it anyway. So here's to me getting worked up enough over something to actually do something about it.

Now that odds are the Libs will own the Senate, it looks like the US pharmaceuticals companies are once again bending Howard over in regards to the FTA, and $10 says he'll easily cave in like the bitch he is, and Labor's amendments will get removed. Or will they have to wait till next July to do that? Either way, congratulations Australia. You fucking idiots. There's also a fight over copyright laws as well relating to it.

Crean has stepped down as ALP treasurer, and recommended that Jules take the job. That'd be awesome. Jules is the coolest female MP ever. Latho as leader, Jules as treasurer/deputy, and move Rudd to health. You want the most charismatic people in the roles the media heavily follows. So yes, I'd pick those three as the holy trinity. Looks like Rudd is eyeing treasurer though, so maybe Jules will stay with health. I'd like to see her move up though.

Another reason to pick Gillard for treasurer is that when Howard keels over, Costello is going to take over as leader, and Abbott will most likely end up being treasurer on the Liberal side. Jules has already shown time and time again that she can not only hold her own against Abbott, but can make him look like an utter fool over and over. All the more reason to pick her.

Some company thinks that Labor didn't give Latham enough time to build up his brand.

Unfair dismissal laws. Howard reckons there's been massive increases in productivity over the past decade (office sizes in Melbourne have also shrunk an average of 30% in the last decade). Now he wants to push this even further by giving small business employees about as many rights (or maybe less!) as McDonald's workers. Nothing increases productivity like lack of job security!

Peter Holding wrote a bit on it, in PM's Dismissal Plans Far From Family-Friendly (found via Rob's blog):

Orwellian in name, the Howard Government's "Fair Dismissal" legislation does the opposite to that which its name suggests. It allows companies that employ fewer than 20 people to unfairly dismiss its employees.

It not only removes the right to claim unfair dismissal for employees who are dismissed, it will affect the power relationship between the employer and those employees who are not dismissed. If an employer has the power to dismiss an employee unfairly, or without a valid reason, the whole context of the employment relationship changes.

The new law will be a recipe for bullying, harassment and exploitation. If a boss or supervisor gets angry and swears at a worker who then swears back, and on the spur of the moment the boss decides to sack the worker for "misconduct", there will be no right to claim unfair dismissal.

To make matters worse, if misconduct is the cause of the dismissal, the ex-employee may also be precluded from claiming social security for a period.

Unpaid overtime will increase. Under the law as it now stands, an employee may be prepared to work back occasionally for no extra pay for a boss who lets them take time off on pay when family matters come up. That is a give-and-take situation.

But under the new laws, an employer will be empowered to require an employee to work back for no extra pay, knowing that if they refuse they can be dismissed for no reason and with no questions asked.

Of course there is a productivity increase to the employer in any situation where it can derive such free labour. But is this the manner in which Australians want to see productivity increases?

Rates of involuntary casualisation of the workforce are also likely to increase. Casuals who have not been employed regularly for more than 12 months are not to be counted in determining whether the company employs 20 people. This creates an incentive against offering workers full-time employment.

Will this lead people away from working for small business though, knowing that they have less rights there than when going for corporations, etc?

The more I read on, the more I get annoyed at 52% of the population.

The SMH has done some polling and found that nearly a third of union members vote for a government that hates unions. And people say it's just wrong to call people stupid for voting Liberal?

Miranda Devine, I hate you. Although I'll give you some concessions as you want to punch concrete cowboys in the head as much as I do. I intend to counter this editorial with quotes from a few hundred blogs kept by people under the age of 24 (believe me, I have them bookmarked). Not tonight though.

Back Pages delved into the forests policies of both parties. It's a really good read. So go!

Finally, some torrents (piracy is wrong etc etc (although I can't see the harm in downloading a show that'll never get aired again and probably won't ever get a DVD release), and no, I didn't upload these):

2004-10-14T20:36:00.000+10:00

Don't forget - final episode of The Chaser Decides is at 9PM tonight.

Time For An Autopsy

2004-10-13T19:56:00.000+10:00

My pants are awash in a sea of ballsweat.

How poetic.

I went out this morning, copped 38°C in the face, and realised that yes, I still live in Australia. Just over half of the voting population may be fuckwits, but I'm still proud that I can get a tan just by walking outside for 10 seconds in the middle of spring (or do we have chlorofluorocarbons to thank for this?), drive around with thongs on, and fear bushfires at the end of every single goddamn year. I will live by the values set out in the Fosters ad, even if it is a blatant ripoff of a Canadian ad for Molson Beer:

g'day
umm...
i don't have a kangaroo for a pet
i don't wrestle with crocodiles
and i don't wear a cork hat
i fight wars, but never start wars
i would rather make peace
i can wear my country's flag with pride
i am a rock
i am the ocean
i am the island continent
my brothers are the smiths
the wilsons
the santerellis
the de costis
the wongs
and the jagamarras
(unless i suspect them all of being terrorists)
i play football without a helmet
i like beetroot on my hamburger
i ride in the front seat of a taxi
i believe this is a prawn, not a shrimp
i believe the world is round
and down under is on top
i believe australia is the best address on earth
and australians brew the best beer on earth
(even if absolutely nobody drinks fosters)
cheers

Don't you just feel all patriotic/embarrassed now?

I'm surprised that so many people seem to know where the wall is. Like, other than the graffiti, there isn't any real distinguishing marks, but I've gotten 6 emails from people telling me it's in Redfern. Either word of mouth on the Internet has done its thing, or it's the most recognisable wall off a main street in Australia. And a big hello to the swarm of flying monkeys too. You've tripled my traffic.

You Can't Spell Analysis Without Anal
Piers Akerman continues his 'analysis' (no shit, that's what the front page of the Daily Telegraph called it) of the end of the election. My 'analysis' of Piers Akerman (who never makes mistakes) is that he's a smug, gloating, hateful little fuckhead whose only purpose in life is to divide his audience to sell more newspapers, and should take a look in the mirror before he calls someone self-indulgent. Even if I was right-wing, I'd still be calling him a fuckhead.

If I Ran The ALP...
I think Latham should stay on as leader. He's a kickarse politician, isn't the most bland person on the planet, and was a good, viable alternative Prime Minister. Michael Costello can go fuck himself - the entire party is to blame for the ALP's downfall, not just Latham (so listen to Crean). While he could've been more relaxed during the campaign and unleashed the mongrel a bit more, I wouldn't say he on his own did a shithouse job.

Julia Gillard should challenge for deputy leadership. She has charisma, does well in front of the cameras, and just plain fucking rocks. Plus she's good at bagging out Tony Abbott.

Crean... Maybe make him a Senator (to replace Faulkner?), or something to keep him out of the public eye. He's like Quasimodo - means well and is a good politician (well Quaisimodo was never a politician but you know what I mean), but he just scares the crap out of people. He's stepped down from doing treasury.

Kim Beazley and Kevin Rudd should have more media exposure. Fat Kim is recognisable to oldies, and Rudd - when he speaks, you listen.

The ALP should try marketing themselves as a brand. Target places that don't usually get political advertising. Make the ALP cool. Introduce a half-decent clothing line. Magazine ads. Billboards. Make people need it. Make the general masses salivate in desperation as they await approval of their applications.

"Dude, you mean you're not in the ALP?! No wonder your girlfriend won't have sex with you!"

Try and make politics cool. Not just for the realm of old farts and shitheads. Young Labor/Liberal is so not the answer for this.

There's a greater chance younger people will go left-wing, so market yourselves to them. ALP XTREME! Or not. Feature ongoing ads on the TV over the next three years, aiming to build resentment at Howard and promote the ALP. Sponsor events maybe? "The Falls Festival, brought to you by Triple J, the VAC, MusicMax, Hurley International, and the ALP." Or does the AEC prohibit stuff like this?

Disendorse Jacinta Collins. Even if she eventually wins that Senate seat. End of story.

And listen to Graham Edwards. You want the best of the best in the frontbench, not people who have got there via their associations.

Keep tinkering with Medicare Gold and whatnot; spend the next three years ironing out the bugs and try again in 2007.

This election has made it obvious that people care most about numero uno. So play on that. Explain exactly how you, as an individual, will be reamed under three years of an uncontrolled Liberal government.

Run an ongoing media campaign against Howard - not election type saturation, but say every 3 months or so put out a negative ad. Keep it at the back of people's minds.

I can imagine them now.

Black and white video dramatisation showing Egyptian slaves getting whipped by guards while pushing giant rocks to make pyramids. Voiceover: "John Howard wants to take away worker's rights and give employers more control. Are you happy to live in a world like this?"

Or radio ads:

"You're fired."
"But why?! You can't do that! I have rights!"
Cheery voice: "Not anymore you don't, Jimmy! Small business workers can now be given the sack for no reason whatsoever. So you better do everything (this plays on people's fears of sexual harrassment even though it has nothing to do with this) your boss tells you to! The Liberal Party: Governing for all of us."

Maybe a slow-mo montage of Howard, Costello, Vandstone, Ruddock, Young Liberals and others to the tune of Frenzal Rhomb's White World.

And so on and so forth.

What Went Wrong?
So now to poke around the election campaign.

While the newspapers in hindsight are saying it was completely obvious that it was a total disaster, this is as stupid as Nostrodamus being found to have magically predicted something after the event happened. The campaign went well (if it was an utter disaster you would've realised it at the time; polls would've been much different): the fact that absolutely nobody could pick a clear winner is evidence of this. Howard was scared. You saw it every day.

So with the benefit of hindsight, what could have been done differently?

Latham should've bagged the other side at every opportunity, like Howard did. Virtually his entire campaign launch speech was bagging Labor ("maybe if I repeat 'interest rates' enough times it'll become true!"), while Labor decided to go with the positive, which was drowned out.

The L plater ad could've been countered easily - stick this sign up on every billboard within 100m of the ad.

Keep Iraq, lies, refugees, and all that at the forefront of the election. Labor spent most of it countering Howard's claims instead of making them. As a result, election issues more or less entirely stayed on the economy, with everything else taking a back seat. Shouldn't have let it happen!

More negative campaigning was needed by Labor. It was a nice thing keeping it positive, but negative imagery is remembered more. Howard had no limits on how he'd go - how can you win if you refused to match him?

More ads!

Photo of Iraqi kid in World Vision style: "This is [insert name here]. She's 5. She can't go to school. She can't ride a bike outside. She can't go swimming. She can't walk down the street with her. She can't go to the toy store. She can't interact with the rest of Australia. Why? Because Howard has her and 80 other children locked up in the middle of nowhere, behind razor wire, possibly for the rest of her life. And she didn't even do anything wrong. We helped put her there by voting in the Liberals in 2001. Let's not make the same mistake twice."

Interest rates. Gah. There was one whole ad attacking it. NOT ENOUGH. His credibility could have been completely shot if this was treated right, but nowhere near enough attention was paid.

The debate was good - only problems were the rules Howard set to limit the damage caused, but Labor had no control over that so there wasn't really anything they could've done.

Victorian Senate preference deals with Family First. UGH. That was stupid. No other word for it. That was a monumental fuckup. Talk about shooting yourself + all of Australia in the foot. No deals should have been done with FF whatsoever.

The Greens preference deal I had no problem with, and I doubt it caused many people to scream, and run for their life to the safety of the Libs. I mean what the fuck, Howard does a preference deal with Family First and it has no impact on people's voting, but everyone's scared of a Labor/Greens alliance? Bullshit.

As far as Tasmanian forests goes... there really needed to be more time after the policy. An extra week or something. I partially blame News Ltd for this too - Labor's policy to actually do something gets booed (at first, but then never followed up on - hi CFMEU (which'd have a link here if their site wasn't down)), but Howard's policy of doing sweet fuck all is just brilliant! I seriously think they wouldn't have lost those two seats if there was extra time to examine the policies. Oh well. Enjoy your forests while you can, Tasmania!

And so ends my random thoughts on this outcome.

I'm wondering what will happen if Kerry wins now. Howard has spent so much time and effort doing the Monica Lewinsky thing to Bush, that I'm wondering how it'll affect international relations if Kerry wins. Maybe he'll tear up the FTA?

On a not really related note: FF = owned.

Lastly, I just watched The 7:30 Report's interview with Costello over election promises. I want to hurt him.

2004-10-11T23:49:00.000+10:00

I found this in today's Daily Telegraph. A beautiful letter, a tribute to the quality of News Ltd, reproduced with the permission of nobody.

For me, the most exquisite aspect of John Howard's election victory was how it urinated from a great height on the blatant and at times quite vicious bias towards Labor in the political coverage of the ABC and my old alma mater, the Sydney Morning Herald.

I'm not anti-Labor, but I am anti-partisan journalism that professes to be unbiased.

It used to be the case with the Sydney Morning Herald that a journalist strove to be objective in his or her reporting and commentary on political events. But one needed only to observe how in recent times it is so consistently selected, where there was a choice, an anti-Government pitch on a story to become aware of a deliberate policy that lay behind it. This policy was reflected in the endless smearing of the Government by its gallery chief, Mike Seccombe, and the quite scurrilous rantings of its columnist, Alan Ramsey. Similarly, the ABC's coverage has been reglarly slanted by its reporter, Jim Middleton.

Please don't tell me I'm imagining things. I was too long in the business not to recognise bias when I see it, and know when a journalist is gunning for someone (and just look at the plethora of anti-Government letters in the Herald letters columns).

The ultimate responsibility in the case of the Herald must rest with its CEO, Fred Hilmer. Since he will be leaving shortly, one might hope the paper will return to its former even-handedness in political coverage.

One thing's for sure, as the election outcome demonstrates: because of their so easily identifiable political partisanship, the Sydney Morning Herald and the ABC have utterly bankrupted their capacity to materially influence public outcome.
- John O'Hara, Lindfield

This letter appeared in The Daily Telegraph of all places. Either it's satire that has gone over the heads of everyone, or this man truly is an idiot.

2004-10-11T21:36:00.000+10:00

Can anyone confirm if this is real or a PhotoShop job?

The Phillip Ruddock Blues

2004-10-11T02:40:00.000+10:00

australians all let us rejoice
buddy, hold your horses
it's time patriotism was
exposed to market forces

the love of country may not fit
in with efficiency
costs exceeded benefits
at gallipoli

self sacrifice just cannot pass
a profit loss assessment
those anzac boys were slaughtered on
returns for investment

a government will only stop
you getting what you can
it just distorts the market if
you help your fellow man

from the cradle to the grave
let self interest be the rule
why should we help those parents who
send their kids to state schools?

i got a fuck-off job, i got a fuck-off car
i got my fuck-off girlfriend in a fuck-off bar
you want the fuck-off time, the fuck-off day
look at my fuck-off watch, i fuck-off say

to get a job that pays for fees
it's easy, all you jerks
you need to go to private schools
you see, the system works

this is my fuck-off club, this is my fuck-off crowd
the fuck-off dj trippin', get the fuck-off sound
you want to fuck-off dance, you want my fuck-off place
the answer's written on the bouncer's fuck-off face

why should we let towel-heads in
'cause their ships won't float?
what other race has ever come to australia on a boat?
and if self-interest should rule
five miles out from shore
why the hell don't it apply to those who live next door?

why should you ask me for my help
just cause you're aussie too?
what's the difference between
those boat people and you?

australians all at once rejoice
at our shared common wealth
but now if you're australian
help your fucking self
- TISM

The Ando Zone: Episode 4

2004-10-10T20:35:00.000+10:00

Previously on The Ando Zone:

Anyway, latest on the Ando trail is that he's said he'll step down as leader of the Nationals if they lose seats. Why?! He could have merrily gone on his way acting like a tool and nobody would have said anything, but now he's gone and created a condition for himself that'll most likely see him looking for another job after October 9. Stupid, stupid man.

Now, the Nationals have made no seat gains at all, however with 74.2% of the vote counted, it looks like they'll lose Richmond to the ALP.

Will this be the last we see of Ando? Time will tell.

2004-10-10T18:59:00.000+10:00

"I can't stress any of this enough. Coalition control of the senate will enable the Howard/Costello/Abbott government to veto all enquiries into its actions. They will have unrestricted power and lots of it - but zero accountability."
- Darp

Half Arsed Theories

2004-10-10T18:58:00.000+10:00

Whilst considering breaking a toaster over a customer's head at Target today, I started getting all Margo Kingston and thinking about democracy.

I feel you need three things to make it work. We'll call it The Democratic Triangle! Sort of like that heat/fuel/air thing that starts fires.

So the three points on our triangle are:

Honest & Accountable Government
Unbiased Media
Informed Public

You need any two of those points, and the third one will appear.

At the moment we have none of them. So where do we start? Obviously not with Honest & Accountable Government; that'll never happen until 2007 at least. So that leaves us with Unbiased Media and Informed Public.

Unbiased Media
Within the next year, almost the entire Australian media will loosely become the promotional wing of the Liberal party (unless FF does the right thing - they've already said they are against selling Telstra, so maybe they'll see this too). So if you rely on traditional media for information, you're stuffed.

So where does this leave us? Internet.

We need an independent news source, updated as frequently as the regular sites. I'm thinking something like Crikey, but free, with a large advertising budget to pull in traffic. How? I don't know. I am thinking a news site where all the stories are reported with a declaration at the top stating which way they lean. Make it available to all browsers, PDA's, 3G phones, everything. If there is a way to transmit information, there should be a form of this news source available for it.

It sounds like a stupid idea that'd never work, but it's something to aim towards. Jess has been considering it too.

Informed Public
This is important. Over the next three years, make sure people around you know exactly what is going on. When someone starts talking out of their arse in a political argument, give them a bitchslap and set their facts straight. Get the message out about all the little things that don't make front page news. The more these facts are known, the better.

And if we can get these two things to happen, then we have ourselves an honest and accountable government as a result. You can't screw people over if they know exactly what you're trying to do.

Other Random Thought
Another democratic reform thought - what if elections were held at random? The GG has a draw and pulls a date out of a hat at the end of every election. He keeps this date completely secret to everyone, then, a week before that date, an election is announced. It would kill campaigning, meaning parties would be judged on their performance instead of their bullshit. But then I suppose it would always mean you're voting a government out based on what they'd done, not on what they had to offer. Blah.

Australia, This Is What You Voted For

2004-10-10T04:09:00.000+10:00

You have voted for a foreign affairs minister that thinks it's perfectly fine for other countries to bomb us.

You have voted for an immigration minister that approves of locking children up behind razor wire indefinitely.

You have voted for an education minister who believes your parents income is the only thing that should entitle you to a decent school.

You have voted for an IT and communications minister that wants to sell the entire media to two companies that share the same viewpoint.

You have voted for a health minister who is a failed Catholic priest and introduces policies to ensure the rich benefit more from health care.

You have voted for a treasurer that makes massive mistakes on policies unless his entire office is there to hold his hand.

You have voted for a Prime Minister that will say and do absolutely anything to hold power.

And you have voted to give them a majority in the Senate, removing the one safeguard that stopped them from passing bills that should never have seen the light of day.

I hope you're happy.

2004-10-10T02:00:00.000+10:00

"That's not the Australia that we Greens are working to see. It'll be commiserations to Labor in that case and I think commiserations to the country."
- Bob Brown

The Three D's

2004-10-10T00:54:00.000+10:00

Yes, three D's. So put on some red/blue cellophane glasses.

I spent the late afternoon handing out How To Votes, alongside a Greens supporter called Christine, who was awesome. She'd actually read this blog, so it was really weird when she asked "are you the David Murray that has that blog?" I felt like a total celebrity.

We stood out the front discussing political issues while the sun went down, then it was 6PM and time to get counting ballots. So off home I went, with butterflies in my stomach, to see the results.

Disbelief
After I got home from handing out HTV's, I sat down and got stuck into the coverage.

And as minute by minute went by, I felt weirder and weirder (I even had the fleeting crazy thought that the entire Australian media was pulling a Fox News). Apparently all my assumptions about the general Australian public were completely wrong. And it just got worse and worse as the night went on. Instead of gaining seats, Labor went in the other direction! And I honestly can't get my head around why. While Latho didn't campaign as hard as I thought he should, and the last few days were a total disaster regarding Tasmanian forests and Medicare Gold costings, I thought the absolute worst result was going to be that Labor would retain all their seats and that would be it.

But they lost seats! It boggles the mind.

Even worse than this is that it looks like the Liberals will have control in the Senate too. What does this mean? It means that whatever crazy idea Howard/Costello comes up with, odds are it'll get rubber stamped without any scrutiny. Meaning that you can expect about triple as much shit to happen in the next three years than has happened in the past eight.

The strange thing is I don't know anyone other than a few that passed through to the booths that voted Liberal. Who are these people? Do they wear invisibility cloaks when going to the polls? Or are they just ashamed of who they vote for?

I became suspicious of my fellow Australians, not unlike the outcome of Howard's anti-terror campaign. How do you spot a Liberal voter? They could be everywhere!

Despair
I cried. I felt physically ill. Seriously. About three hours in. I feel like a moron saying that, but I did. It was a total feeling of helplessness, finding out that the majority of Australian people are either completely stupid or hold money/themselves as their number one concern. To find out that the majority of people I see in this country - people I see and talk to every day - are perfectly fine with a dishonest government. It felt like a sledgehammer to the face. Do I even know what defines an Australian anymore?

My mood sunk so low. I hadn't felt that bad since I found out my ex was banging my friends. We had awesome weather on one of Australia's darkest days. How ironic.

Determination
After drying my eyes and moaning about the end of the world for a bit more to people, I started to feel encouraged about the amount of irate people on aussielj. It started to cheer me up. Then I thought back. I got cheered up thinking about the huge amount of anti-Howard blogs there are. Cheered up that I've talked to so many 16 year olds that hate Howard but can't vote yet. Cheered up at the amount of people that called in to Channel [V] yesterday and said they were voting Labor. Cheered up at all the little website polls that put the Liberals in third place.

And cheered up by Jess. At first, I wanted to stab her in the head for being optimistic, but I came around. Her Children Overboard song is really catchy and took my mind off things, plus this made me smile:

Yes, Labor lost. But you know what? I’m still proud to have been supporting them. I’m proud I voted for a party that actually put forward a positive campaign. I’m proud that Latham & Co came up with ideas to better this country rather than reasons to be frightened of change. It’s the good fight we’re fighting, and I’ve got plenty more juice left in me to keep going for another three years. We won’t give up - we’ll get it together and keep working towards making this place a better country to live in. A Howard run Australia is a horrifically difficult place to be proud of, but if we abandon all hope, if we gaze at our shoes and sob and whine about being robbed for various reasons, well, then we’re not helping anyone.

Also happy that Ross Cameron lost his seat.

And while the RWDB's win this round, I'm grateful that we had a clear choice in this election. Good Guy vs Utter Bastard. You really can't get clearer than that (dreading the next state election when it'll be Utter Bastard vs Utter Bastard). I can only hope the Liberals won't change the constitution so we don't have elections anymore, or that they gain control of the AEC (*thinks back to a certain incident with Tony Abbott and Pauline Hanson*).

I was asked if I wanted to join the ALP today. I will. I want to get active.

I was going to close up shop tonight, but I'm not letting this blog finish without a happy ending, so Completely Biased will continue until the world is a better place (although posts won't be as obsessively frequent). By 2007, I feel we will be looking at a different media landscape, for better or worse. And blogging may be treated with the same respect and readership as traditional media outlets (unless the Internet gets censored).

Howard wants to take us back to the 50's and 60's. Remember the 70's and 80's came after that.

So screw this result. We can chalk it up to yet another embarrassing incident in Australian history (you do see how this looks from an international perspective, right?). Next time, the result will go our way, and I have a newfound steely-eyed non-religious determination to make it happen. For the next 1095 days, I (and many, many others) will be chipping away at the stinking mound of horse shit that is the Liberal party.

Yes, I'm optimistic at the moment, but make no mistake that there is sadness and rage seething behind that.

This country is totally fucked, but I'm going to help fix it.

Like Dr Claw says: next time, Gadget, next time.

Disgusted

2004-10-09T21:06:00.000+10:00

most people don't like
to think they're a whore
what else can we be
when we still ask for more?
- from "John Howard's Bitches" by Eddie Perfect

The Australia I was brought up to believe in isn't the Australia that I live in.

2004-10-09T20:23:00.000+10:00

So now for a new experiment in the next three years. How far to the right can you push society until it collapses?

2004-10-09T19:35:00.000+10:00

20% counted.

What does this say about our country?

I feel ill.

How Low Can You Go?

2004-10-09T12:56:00.000+10:00

Greens See Red Over Libs How-To-Vote Cards:

The Australian Greens have accused the Liberal Party of election day dirty tricks, including how-to-vote cards similar to the Greens' own cards.

A Liberal candidate in the marginal seat of Melbourne Ports has also been accused of hiring young people to dress like Greens supporters and hand out cards for him.

Greens volunteers have reported the cards in the Labor-held seat of Melbourne Ports, the Liberal seat of Deakin and in the suburb of Mill Park, which is part of the electorate of Scullin.

2004-10-09T12:32:00.000+10:00

Vote him out.

2004-10-09T03:11:00.000+10:00

After a six week campaign it is finally time to award the "Hack of 2004" trophy to the journalist who has done the least for fair and balanced coverage.

And the winner is...

2004-10-09T01:24:00.000+10:00

Bring it.

Election 2004 | Day 40 | Final Roundup

2004-10-09T01:07:00.000+10:00

$1.20 Coalition, $4.00 Labor. It was at $1.25 to $3.75 during the day, but has since gone back to that.

And now for polls.

All the papers have been shrieking that the Liberals are in front (note that I have never, ever heard of a Galaxy poll being mentioned before in this campaign). AC Neilson says 54/46. Newspoll has them on 50/50. Contrary to the stories that are saying Howard will win easily, this is still anyone's game. The sky hasn't fallen just yet.

The Sky News poll tonight said 47% of people would give their second preference to Family First. This is in no way a proper poll (you do it via remote control and can go as many times as you want), but makes me wonder what the fuck the demographic of Foxtel Digital subscribers are.

Medicare Gold
Treasury says it's underfunded by $725m, due to higher hospital administrative costs than expected.

"Even if they are correct, Labor could meet its commitment to deliver free hospital care to the elderly because it is ahead on other policy costings," she (Julia Gillard) said.

She also says the department's analysis falls far short of the $4 billion price tag which Prime Minister John Howard tried to put on it.

"There's been wild claims in the last week about the costs and sustainability of Medicare Gold," Ms Gillard said.

"Mr Howard said as recently as yesterday that it was $4 billion underfunded.

"That's not true and Mr Howard can't answer the simple point that across Labor's policies we can fully fund all of them and deliver a bigger budget surplus than the Howard Government," she said.

The most disappointing find of the day (because of the timing and lack of people there to cover it) comes from Margo Kingston, who has been hanging around the National Press Club all night.

Update 9.06pm, October 8: The press gallery is basically empty except for me and the SMH's COS Gabrielle Hooton when the Department of Finance wanders in to 'box' its latest costings assessments. They're about the government's new policies, and they show that the Coalition has underfunded some of ITS promises. Perfect timing.

Gah! Too late for newspapers to run. But would they run it anyway? Hrm hrm.

Argh
This just makes me want to punch him.

"To those Australians who are listening to this program who haven't made up their mind, this is not a time to experiment with the theory of kick him but he'll still be in office. Please don't do that because if you kick hard enough and enough of you kick, I won't be in office."
- Howard

THAT'S THE POINT YOU IDIOT.

Greens
They could become a third major party in the future. I'm sure I speculated on this a few weeks ago, but can't remember.

Full Circle
Howard ended the campaign as he started it, cynically speaking about trust.

"It is a question of who do you better trust to manage Australia, both economically and Australia's national security and defence, and nothing has happened during the election campaign to shake my belief that is the central issue in this campaign."

Latham finished it in his original primary school (where he first started handing out HTV's for the ALP) , having a press conference in his old classroom.

"It's where I started my activism, my service for the Labor party and to be back here today as the parliamentary leader makes me proud, honoured and privileged."

The Rest...
The Age has a roundup of the entire election, if you've only just tuned in now.

The AEC site has a section where you can get stats on how many people screwed up their voting papers last election. Interesting!

Navel Gazing
Unless there's some ongoing scandal over/after the election, or I somehow figure out how to do this full-time, Completely Biased will either end or get scaled back heaps.

Forgotten News
Now to tie up loose ends (or leave them loose yet bring them to the front of your mind):

Tony Windsor (guy offered diplomatic posting to stand down) - There has been absolutely no news whatsoever reported about him after September 28th. I can't find anything.

Ralph Hahnheuser (guy running for Senate that went on a hunger strike for the past three weeks) - No idea what happened to him either. Once again, no news past September 28th.

Stuff I Wish I'd Done

I was going to rewrite the National's interest rate calculator, and adjust it for actual values from reality instead of Andoworld, but never got around to finishing it. No point now.
Creatively insulted Piers Akerman/Andrew Bolt heaps more. They're utter fuckwits that don't deserve to be recognised within the industry at all, let alone have positions above the guy that scrubs the toilets at News Ltd. Is being a shitstick all you need to do to get a decent position in the media?
Tim Blair too. His blog is crap, he can't write jokes for shit, acts like a smug fuckstain, omits facts that differs from what he's trying to push, and reminds me of Beavis & Butthead sitting on a couch going "hur hur hur, Latham sucks or something, hur hur hur," with no actual decent reasoning.
Started the Ando Zone earlier. The majority of times he made a goose of himself was in the start of the campaign, so it feels like I just left it too late. Could've developed a cult following, and gotten a TV show with celebrity endorsements.
Pimped this blog more. Didn't want to feel like I was spamming though. Oh well.

Finally...
This is your chance to make a difference, and all it requires is numbering boxes properly. Make it count.

My gut feeling is good (well my lower intestines are a different story altogether at the moment, but that's related to dinner) about tomorrow, despite nearly every media outlet in Australia siding themselves with the Coalition. I'm just hoping my gut is accurate.

Fingers crossed tomorrow is a good night.

2004-10-08T20:10:00.000+10:00

After seeing all the crap this week about the CFMEU all happy with Howard when it came to Tasmanian logging, I found it really weird that this half page ad was taken out on page 35 of the Telegraph. But apparently they've been misrepresented! Wish I found this out sooner. Their website is carrying a press release on Howard's policy. I'm pissed at myself for not looking into this harder at the start of the week.

Good to see they actually had the balls to say which organisation authorised it too.

Last Words From Internet Land

2004-10-08T18:04:00.000+10:00

This post will be full of quotes from various blogs. Final pitches, if you will.

musewhipped:

There is a definition of insanity which goes something like this: Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. It's time for a change, Australia.

six months off for bad behaviour:

36 hours until polling starts. This feels like a referendum on the sanity of the Australian people.

tim:

What the fuck is wrong with our country? How do we counter the stupid perception people have that Labor will make interest rates go up and that we need Howard to manage the economy?

Latham's fake blog:

So kids, if you care about the future of this country like your Uncle Latho does, vote for me, knuckleheads, and if you don't, I'm sure there's a nerf bat with your name on it around here somewhere.

Greens blog:

Now that everybody who counts has released a forest policy, how about we talk about it? I'll start: the Liberal Party sucks.

There Ain't No Sanity Clause:

Some in the blogosphere are gnashing teeth, weeping, wailing and sighing as they contemplate the polls. (No names. No pack-drill. But you know who you are, and you ought to be ashamed of yourselves - the whole lot of you!)

All is not doom and gloom for the forces of enlightenment and milk and honey flowing in the streets. Nor is it all plain sailing for the forces of darkness and bread and circuses.

She Sells Sanctuary:

No, it's not about "choice". Nor is it about "the philosophy of free will" as the Herald's sub put it in the headline of the edited version of the transcript. (Though, in fairness, it's Howard who talks about "the philosophical divide".) The philosophy of free will, huh? When was it ever about that? Non-Liberal voting Australians can still believe in free will, surely.

ausculture:

I've said it before and I'll say it yet again. Labor isn't perfect. Mark Latham isn’t perfect. But he hasn't blatantly lied to the country yet. He hasn't led us into a war based on false information. He hasn’t tried to manipulate the public with fear. He hasn't insulted us with the notion of "core" and "non-core" promises. Is it worth risking the country's "interest rates" on L-plater Latham? You're damn right it is. To me, it's a safer bet than risking the country's morality (and no, I don’t mean "morality" in the same way Family First, Fred Nile & Co mean it) and conscience on John Howard.

I know I sound like a naive, impractical, over-eager preacher and the above is devoid of all possible laugh value, but sometimes this gal just needs to get serious.

Web Diary:

There is a much better world and a much better country within our grasp. All the elements are there. We just need to work at it. Occasionally, as Robert Frost did, we need to take the road less travelled. Let's face it, the old ways aren't working. Believe otherwise and you are kidding yourself.

Australia and the world are at the crossroads. Do we do as we always have, or do we take the road less travelled?

That's going to be the difference. As individuals, as a country and as a world.

The Daily Flute:

We are told to be alert, not afraid while the government is frightening the bejesus out of us. Howard wants us to feel secure as Australians while sticking a fire cracker up our clackers. The only reason I can think of is that the fear of America has spread here just as all other cultural exports, I wish I could offer something more intelligent. But then I wish the government could too.

Psephite:

I have been feeling that Labor will not make it. I feel they may improve on their last efforts but Little Johnny rat will make it to a fourth term and a sizable chunk of the population will move to New Zealand. I have been overwhelmed into submission by the Coalition bias shown by the News Ltd media, as comicstriphero earlier mentioned. Little Johnboy has constantly aimed at the lowest common denominator both in his time as PM and in this election campaign and it is hard to struggle against the feeling that this country has become the lowest common denominator. That this denominator is valued and questioning, intelligent public discussion is dismissed as elite. As such, idiotic and blatantly untrue platforms like "higher interest rates under Labor" are believed without question. Teflon-John is going to get away with it again.

Well, this is how I was feeling until about 1pm this afternoon. A chat with a colleague revealed some high-level research she had been doing this week. Every cab she got into she asked the cab driver their opinion on the election. And the answers? Overwhelming in favour of a Labor win. Perhaps there is just a shred of hope...

Suki Has An Opinion:

Let's care about truth...

Truth about why we are in Iraq.
Truth about the mental health of people in detention centres.
Truth about Medicare from the perspective of health care providers.
Truth about the dangerous stupidity of Ministers.
Truth about renewable energy projects.

Is It Wrong To Wish On Space Hardware?:

See you all the other side of the Howard-ite era. I've got a strong gut feeling that this is it. By midnight on Saturday, we'll all be pissing away the last eight years into the dustbin of history. When the hang-over dies off, we'll get stuck into correcting some very serious wrongs committed in our name.

As Liam Gallagher sang upon the demise of the British Tories: Some might say, we will find a brighter day.

Let's hope Mark Latham doesn't become another Tony Blair.

Stay beautiful, stay strong (Kia Kaha) and as Michael Franti says, stay human.

It's time people!

It's time.

Reasons You Will Hate Me:

And you know what, you fuckers? I would still not vote for John Howard. Because despite whatever either party can offer me personally, I give a fucking shit about this country and its social and emotional growth. And I would deal with losing my fucking job and would just campaign and bitch to whoever was in power to get my industry back on track. And I would do that knowing that I hadn't thrown my weight behind the racist scum-sucking conservatives set to screw us into the ground.

Hello? Is This Thing Switched On?:

Don’t forget the Tampa. Don’t forget the mandatory detention of legitimate refugees escaping human rights violating atrocities. Don’t forget equal rights for our gay and lesbian communities. Don’t forget that apologising to a race of indigenous Australians has been too difficult for our current government. Don’t forget the cultural identity of this country is being bartered around like a valueless 5 of Diamonds in the Free Trade Agreements. Don't forget all the lies.

I can’t go on. Please, please, please but Liberal as your last preference!

The Road To Surfdom:

Honestly, do you want to wake up on Sunday morning resigned to another three years of the perpetual dullness of the clotted mind or would you prefer to be looking forward to what the future might hold as Latham and Costello battle it out?

This is an historic election not least because a change of government now is going to be more than a change of who controls the treasury benches. It is going to bring a complete turnover of personnel in the liberal Party too, and God, don't they need it?

So we face the prospect of two relatively young, reinvigorated parties vying for our attention and our votes. It'll do us all good.

I know a prime minister Latham is a risk, but so is bloody life.

It's a time for a change. It's time for a system overhaul. It's time to face the threats and challenges of the future with the confidence that comes from renewal. It's time to slip out of the straightjacket, as snug and secure as that might be, pull on the Speedos and catch the next big wave.

Young and free, girt by sea, here comes a Latham victory!

Back Pages:

First, '04 is not, and does not feel like, '01. There has not been a horrific terrorist attack on New York City on the eve of the campaign. There was no Tampa during the campaign. Nor has Labor made itself into a small target. After beginning this campaign in an anti-Howardian stance, Back Pages has moved more and more into a positive stance for Latham and the ALP. Heading a list of useful promises, the schools policy, Medicare Gold and saving Australia's ancient forests are three big positive reasons to vote Labor. In sum, measured in terms of campaign composure, substance and atmospherics, this is not '01. I therefore expect the Labor vote will be more than a mere two points above the last national vote. Two points is all Labor needs.

Counterspin:

If you want an Australia that looks outward toward the future, as opposed to an idealised impression of social conservatism expressed by John Howard, the decision on October 9 is clear.

Australia is at a crossroads.

That's all for now.

I hope that the past 127 or so posts on Completely Biased have made you care enough to do something, have helped swing an undecided mind, or have helped you destroy any blind Liberal Party arguments.

Yes, argue. Kick and scream. Challenge uniformed viewpoints. Don't sit there quietly.

Money is not everything.

Tomorrow will be one of the most important days in Australia's history.

Don't be apathetic.

2004-10-08T17:09:00.000+10:00

Appeared on Oxford St, Sydney. Has since been replaced with a beer ad.

2004-10-08T11:46:00.000+10:00

The stupidity and selfishness of people really gets to me sometimes.

Our educational institutions are going under!

But the other guy is inexperienced!

We've participated in an illegal war and decimated a country for a reason that wasn't even true.

Strong economy!

81 innocent children are locked up behind razor wire indefinitely, and could possibly spend their entire lives there.

But interest rates were high over a decade ago!

Our government consistently lies to us.

But... umm... interest rates!

You know that's a total lie, right?

Shut up shut up! I don't care! Plus he's giving me money.

Make sure you know what you're voting for.

The Ando Zone: Episode 3

2004-10-08T03:13:00.000+10:00

Ando today said he'd look at taking the election to court if the ALP won in a tight race.

"I will not rule out looking at it (a court challenge) if it were close."

To his credit though, he has a point, even if his comments make him sound like an utter dickhead (which is what this segment is all about). Half the postal vote papers to be sent out to some marginal Nationals seats have, well, gone missing. The AEC is currently examining its options.

Election 2004 | Day 39 | Roundup

2004-10-08T02:56:00.000+10:00

ONE DAY TO GO.

Friday, then it's crunch time.

$1.20 Liberal, $4.00 Labor. Haven't moved since yesterday. My take is that the odds have blown out so far because bets of several thousand (and hundred thousand) dollars have been put on the Liberals ($200,000 was the biggest single one so far). Now who in the community would happily throw huge amounts of cash on bets? People with more money than sense? See where I'm going here?

I am feeling like Labor will win; they've definitely crapped all over the Liberals for the past six weeks. However, I've been following the news so closely this past month I've got no perspective, I have no idea what the general non-obsessed population are thinking. I'm just hoping like hell they're not as dumb as Howard thinks they are.

Costello: Goose
Okay, this is about the ALP tax package turning out to cost $500m less than expected. Now, here's what Costello said over a fortnight ago:

"It's a dodgy document, the whole thing is dodgy. The tables are dodgy, the costings are dodgy, the participation dividends are dodgy. Labor is letting the days click down hoping that they can stick this in too late for the Treasury to analyse it and too late for the public to have the facts. I hang my reputation on the independent costings of Treasury and Finance and I say: Let's get an independent assessment."

I wrote a tiny bit about this back on Day 24.

This, the so-called knock out punch for Peter Costello, all he's done is knock himself out."
- Simon Crean, all those weeks ago

Costello's office will now be arguing that Treasury are wrong.

Mr Costello's claim of a $700 million hole was based on his belief that Labor had not included the cost of paying a $235 annual rebate to 3.5 million low-income earners for 2004-05 before Labor's alternative working tax bonus kicks in next year.

But Treasury said the low income tax offset had been taken into account by Labor.

Comment was being sought from Mr Costello.

A spokesman for Mr Costello said the Government stood by its claim that Labor's tax and family policy was not revenue neutral and was under funded and under costed.

Iraq
Howard is refusing to say sorry. Wow, where have I heard that before? You participated in the fucking over of a country, for reasons that weren't even true, yet you have no intention of apologising. Good example to set the kids.

"He needs to take responsibility. It's not a time for blaming his staff, public servants or the intelligence agencies. The buck stops with him and if he was big enough and a good leader, he would actually stand up and take responsibility for the mistake."
- Latho

TV and News
Helen Coonan says the Liberals will once again try to get rid of cross-media ownership laws if they get re-elected. Wow. Imagine ten years down the track, if every newspaper was owned by either Kerry Packer or Rupert Murdoch. Then if they both owned TV networks each (Murdoch could go buy 7 or 10 if he wanted, Packer could keep 9). Right. Got that situation in your head? Now what stops any news at all about stuff they don't agree with ever getting reported? The ABC maybe, but the Liberals are constantly complaining about them being biased, even after stacking the board with right wingers, so what's to stop them meddling around there more? So do you have a nice picture of this utopian society in your head, where our opinions are formed based on what two people + the government decide what they want us to think? Sounds awesome!

Read more over at Web Diary's old cross-media section, or at Xmedia.org.au.

Coonan is also all for Australian FTA networks to be owned by foreign corporations. So instead of rich Australian bastards pushing their views, we can have rich American bastards pushing them instead. I'm sure this has nothing to do with News moving off to Delaware.

And the less said about the joke that digital TV has become under the Liberal party, the better (hint: placing restrictions on almost every cool feature digital TV has, in order to give a certain pay TV operator an edge, is probably not the best way to go about things if you want to increase uptake).

The policy is here.

And The Rest...
Time for an overseas perspective:

Iraq Fails To Sway Australia Poll (CNN)
Australian Voters Face Stark Choice on Iraq (Scotsman News)
Australian Voters Face Choice On Iraq (Miami Herald)
Australian Election: Key Issues (BBC News)
In Australia, Ranking Process Is Key In A Tight Race (about our voting system, LA TImes, needs registration - check BugMeNot)
Australia's Labor Party Faces Uphill Battle In Election Campaign (Taipei Times)

Howard did his National Press Club address today.

Nic has worked his guts out putting together a story titled Why I Will Be Voting Labor In The 2004 Election, And Why You Should Too.

The SMH has run a bit stating that they will not be advocating any political party. Unfortunately, their counterpart in Melbourne, The Age, has been instructed by management to go pro-Liberal.

2004-10-07T23:21:00.000+10:00

Got junk from Ptolemy this arvo, and in keeping with my theme of scanning everything in my letterbox, here's his. A 'How To Vote Labor' bit appeared too, but I'm not sure if I'll scan it or not, as it looks like a nationwide mailout.

Now we have Kez running a 5:2 ratio (or 7:3 if you include other stuff).

2004-10-07T23:05:00.000+10:00

There's an ad for a new Prime Minister running in MyCareer.

Wow!

2004-10-07T22:56:00.000+10:00

This just in, from Sky News:

TREASURY FINDS LABOR'S TAX POLICY HAS NO BLACK HOLE
Labor's planned tax cuts for low and middle income earners will be nearly half a billion dollars cheaper than first thought. An analysis by the Treasury Department has found that the ALP has overestimated the cost of its package. Labor's plan involves $8 a week tax cuts for people earning under $52,000 and lifting the two top tax thresholds. The finding has dealt a blow to Treasurer Peter Costello, who's said he'd stake his economic credibility on his claim that Labor's tax package had a $700 million black hole.

OH MY GOD. What is Costello's reply going to be?! What will the papers report tomorrow?! I can't believe how (pathetically) excited I am!

UPDATE: SMH has just put their story on it up.

2004-10-07T17:13:00.000+10:00

As I read The Daily Telegraph and observe it sliding further and further into the realm of Fox News these past weeks, I see this ad on Page 29, authorised by Jill Lewis, a concerned resident who can just happen to afford to take out a quarter-page ad in a state newspaper.

Or is she?

Further investigation (ie. hitting Google) shows that Jill Lewis is the ACT National Director of Timber Communities Australia, a (shock horror) pro-logging, pro-Howard, and anti-Greens organisation. Who would've known?

2004-10-07T16:17:00.000+10:00

EVEN MORE. ARGH. Including the "letter" "from" Howard today, this brings the Liberals junk mail ratio up to a total of 7:1 against other candidates. I've gotten one mailout for Ptolemy (which included how-to-vote stuff if you were going to be away on the day), none from other candidates, and SEVEN from the Liberals (five from Kez, one anti-Greens propaganda, and one "letter"). This is utterly ridiculous.

London Exit Polls

2004-10-07T15:10:00.000+10:00

Nomes sent me an email today, with an attached document showing the exit polls of Australian voters currently residing in London.

So how do Australians vote when they're not stuck in the middle of a scare-campaign?

Looks nice, doesn't it?

This is from primary votes. You're looking at 52.22% Labor, 25.7% Liberal, 19.44% Greens and 2.64% for everyone else (hi Dems).

If you want to factor in preferences, Labor ends up with 63.92% worst case scenario, and 71.66% best case scenario. Tasty.

Almost twice as many voters turned up in London than they did in 2001. Only about a quarter of them were exit polled though, so there is room for error. Still looks good though!

Election 2004 | Day 38 | Roundup

2004-10-07T01:10:00.000+10:00

2 DAYS TO GO.

$1.20 Coalition, $4.00 Labor. Ouch. Today was the biggest gap in a long time.

Thursday, Friday, then it's the big moment of truth. What kind of a nation are we? What do we care about more - people or money? We'll find out Saturday night.

I called in to work to say I won't be in Saturday, as I'm doing HTV's, and my total bitch of a manager went skitz. "Choose between your loyalty to your job or to this election stuff." A choice between doing my little bit to try and make the world better, or spending the day refunding bras. What the fuck? I work casual, they're overstaffed, I gave enough notice, and she can't fucking remember my name half the time, and now she's threatening to take away shifts if I don't rock up Saturday morning. I said I was going with the election stuff, so I'll probably be looking for a new job next week. If anyone knows of anything around here that doesn't involve me resisting urges to axe murder customers, please let me know.

Our local paper today has an absolutely ridiculous amount of pro-Liberal ads in it. Kez must have some rich friends.

So whilst I was out in the middle of nowhere, I managed to catch three main stories.

1. Family First (Yes, Again)
Danny Nalliah, a Victorian Family First candidate for the Senate has been distributing flyers to his followers, featuring awesome lines like this:

"Spot Satan's strongholds in the areas you are living in (brothels, gambling places, bottle shops, mosque, temples-Freemason/Buddhist/ Hindu etc, witchcraft)."

And as well as that, we have an FF volunteer in the Brisbane seat of Dickerson, preaching tolerance in ways only Family First can:

"...lesbians are witches and should be burned to death..."

Which followed on with Greens supporters having eggs thrown at them.

And don't forget - The Liberals are preferencing these people. Howard is also complying with the conditions they set on their preference deal too.

2. Howard Attends Opening Of Garage Door
The National Museum in Canberra had a new exhibition - the Roll-A-Door. Howard came along to get photos. This warranted a quarter page photograph + story in the Daily Telegraph, but scored about three paragraphs in a side column in the SMH.

3. Labor Gets Wood
First up, the Greens will be directing all preferences to Labor as a result of this.

The Libs have been waiting on Labor to deliver their policy first, so they could bag it then come out with their own. Well, that happened the other day. $800m or so to reskill Tasmania's old-growth loggers to other industries, and to set up a committee to investigate which forests to mark off and whatnot. The Daily Telegraph absolutely hammered the crap out of it (headline: "Money Grows On Trees") in the most biased piece of crap since that shitfight between the Teacher's Federation and Carr all those years ago. Forget those comments I said last week about the easing in News Ltd's bias; it's there and as strong as ever.

Anyway, The Daily Telegraph, Herald Sun, and The Australian all ran negative front-page stories on it. Is it a bad policy? I don't know; I'm not an expert on Tasmanian old-growth forests, nor have I ever seen one. But doing something about it, you're either going to piss off the loggers or the environmentalists. Labor went with what appears to me to be more than fair, but it copped shit anyway.

The Liberals spent the rest of the day bagging it, prompting Latham to tell them to "put up or shut up." Today they released theirs.

Howard's plan was just plain shit (although News Ltd reported it as a positive), after all his promises to save the forests. According to Joel Fitzgibbon, ALP Forestry Spokesman:

"True to form, John Howard is lying to the Australian people about Tasmania's forests. His is a fundamentally dishonest announcement. If John Howard was saving 170,000ha of forest, he could never do it for $50 million over four years. It appears that at least 140,000ha of the forests John Howard claims he is saving already can't be logged under existing forest management."

Alec Marr from the Wilderness Society:

"Most of that 170,000 hectares is not trees and big chunks of it are the areas that were too remote and too uncommercial for the industry to log. What John Howard has done is taken scraps thrown to him by the woodchip companies and the Tasmanian Government and tried to dress it up as a conservation outcome. So what they've cynically done is take the important names like the Styx and the Tarkine and protected little bits of them, the bits that the logging industry didn't want."

Greenpeace and the Australian Conservation Foundation also cracked the shits over it. Read all about it over at the ABC's site.

And now for stuff I've only found out today...

Education
9500 schools (public + private) are set to benefit without Howard. 67 private schools would get less funding, and 110 the same amount. The Teacher's Federation haven't been cool with the ALP's policies on education, but agree that they're a hell of a lot better than the Liberal's. They've also found that Howard's "Technical Colleges" would cost almost ten times as much per student.

Labor also wants to get rid of the HECS increases that come into place next year.

Medicare Gold
Latho is pissed off at a report that the AMA released, saying Medicare Gold wouldn't work. Costello jumped on the bandwagon, doing the gloating smarmy tool routine. I'm willing to bet he didn't even look into the details of the report. Sky News' Election channel was repeating a press conference with him all day - he was content to bag Medicare Gold and Labor, but got all jittery when pressed for statistics.

You Could Be A Winner!
The Liberals have been making with the phone-spam today, calling people and playing a recorded message of Howard urging them to vote Liberal, then take part in his zany pyramid scheme. Does this just seem downright... tacky?

"This holus-bolus importation of a US campaign robot is another dirty trick from the US Republican Party the prime minister is happy to burden Australian voters with. John Howard's electorate has already suffered an unwelcome prime ministerial email spamming campaign; it now seems that no phone message machine in the country is safe."
- Wayne Swan, ALP Family/Community Services Spokesman

Throw Him Overboard

TWO out of every three boatpeople who were intercepted during the Howard Government's Pacific solution in late 2001 were eventually found to be genuine refugees.

This strike rate, covering 1678 mainly Afghani and Iraqi asylum-seekers, conceals an even more startling number. The Iraqis who were falsely accused three years ago tomorrow of throwing their children into the water were among the most successful applicants of all.

Talk about being an utter bastard.

And The Rest...
Paul Kelly (no, not the eyebrows/guitar) of The Australian attacks Fairfax over media bias. Pot kettle black.

Piers did his literary equivalent of giving John Howard a blowjob once again, for what, the five billionth week running? I'll summarise: "Mark Latham will eat your children."

Latho did a speech at the National Press Club - easing the squeeze got mentioned twice, plus all his other memorable catchphrases ("he's ready to leave," etc).

The Herald Sun has a list of some of the things Labor wants to do within its first 100 days of government, if it gets in.

Howard hints that he won't piss off if he wins another term; just stick around like a wet fart.

Latham accused Howard of basing his entire campaign around fear-mongering and out of control spending. Bit obvious there. He also said Howard was fundamentally dishonest.

And Abbott has been sick or something with kidney stones. He went private.

Jamie Packer is endorsing the Liberals. Things he's involved in seem to have a history of crashing and burning (One.Tel, Comindico, Kate Fischer, Jodhi Mears), so this could be seen as good news.

2004-10-06T19:08:00.000+10:00

Arooga!

2004-10-06T16:52:00.000+10:00

The things you do when you're bored...

Election 2004 | Day 35 | Roundup

2004-10-04T04:00:00.000+10:00

Bah to the NRL. Best thing was Grinspoon.

5 DAYS TO GO.

I'm doing the HTV's at Mt Riv on Saturday; should be... well, boring as hell, but at least I feel like I'm doing something.

Polls? Bah. There's a nice story at News Ltd titled Polls Have Both Sides Winning.

I'm taking off down the coast for a few days as of tomorrow morning (no TV/phone/computer/Internet). Will be back on Wednesday, so nothing'll happen here until then. Email or comment with anything newsworthy and I'll stick it up when I get back.

Lying rodent. What a nickname. It's unfortunate that we've only started saying it in the past month, when we could have been using it for nearly a decade now.

Boom Shake The Room
The war in Iraq has now cost more than Vietnam did. Two hundred and seven billion dollars. $209,000,000,000. Think about it! If I had that much money at my disposal, I sure as could think of better things to spend it on other than flattening a country.

Bob reckons we should spend $7.25b on overseas aid, in an effort to reduce poverty and inequality. Funny thing is, he's probably right, although this'll no doubt get written off and we'll spend $7.25b on stupid amounts of weaponry instead.

End The Lies
Being the lazy bum I am, I didn't attend. Apparently there was an alright turnout of 6,000 in Sydney, and a big Not Happy John banner written in the sky. Lovely. Crap. The ABC site seems to have gone down, or my end is buggered, so I can't link to some stuff regarding this. Dammit.

Money
The Australian Health Insurance Association reckons they've found a hole in Labor's Medicare Gold plan. Jules said they forgot to offset other savings regarding hospital beds being freed up.

Latham wants Costello to resign if Treasury finds no mistakes in Labor's tax policy, given that Costello has "staked his economic credibility on it."

Religion Once More

"I would rather give my preferences to a party like that than I would to the Greens who are in favour of abolishing the private health insurance rebate, are in favour of massive tax increases, have a very permissive attitude towards drug use, are inherently hostile towards the American alliance."
- Howard, advocating insane religion over lateral thinking.

Now for some more FF bashing. They want to allow home buyers to drain their superannuation to buy a house. Great plan, although I don't think that's what the whole point of superannuation is. My favourite quote from this article:

Mr Harris said his vision was to extend God's kingdom by generating billions of dollars.

I LOVE IT.

And more! Who Else Could Make Howard Look Like A Leftie? To balance out the insanity with something normal, here's the head of the Anglican Church acting rational.

Finally, the rest of the major stuff:

See you all on Wednesday.

Howard: Totally Green

2004-10-03T15:54:00.000+10:00

From an article titled PM Called Talks To Derail Renewable Energy:

The Federal Government and fossil-fuel industry executives discussed ways to stifle growing investment in renewable energy projects at a secret meeting earlier this year.

Prime Minister John Howard called the meeting on May 6, five weeks before releasing the energy white paper on June 14.

The white paper favours massive investment in research to make fossil fuels cleaner, at the expense of schemes boosting growth in renewable energy.

Will we hear more of this story in the coming week, or will it disappear?

2004-10-03T15:41:00.000+10:00

Kez has now out-junkmailed the other candidates around here with a highly respectable 4:1 ratio (5:1 if you count the Greens Are Evil mailout)! And his are the only ones I've gotten that are taxpayer funded! It gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling that when the ATO bends me over at the end of each financial year, I'm helping to pay for worthy causes like this.

End The Lies

2004-10-03T15:33:00.000+10:00

First pics on the net from the End The Lies rally are online, thanks to channel c.

2004-10-03T14:27:00.000+10:00

Ruth over at Line Of Contempt summed up the Liberals nicely in her last post.

"Don't you get it? You're not just voting for someone who gives you a few hundred extra at election time for being a parent. You're not voting for national security. You're voting for the incarceration of children and innocent people. You're voting for lies. For homophobia. For war. For the further destruction of the environment. For elitism. For racism. For inequality."

Unfortunately though, Tim Fuckwad Blair has set his flying monkeys onto her. I swear, if George Bush was caught raping donkeys, he'd report it as a positive.

Election 2004 | Day 34 | Roundup

2004-10-03T01:43:00.000+10:00

6 DAYS TO GO.

Coalition $1.45, Labor $2.55. This is the closest I've seen Centrebet go so far.

"We've taken on the big positive improvements for the country and the Liberals are running the most negative fear campaign in the history of Australian politics."
- Latho

Polls
Bloody buggering hell. Now polling is saying Labor will win. It's Liberal, Labor, Liberal, Labor, Liberal, Labor, never consistent. Do they really go out polling, or just flip a coin each night?

Costings Bullshit
For all their whining about treasury costings, it seems that the Liberals have sent less policies in than Labor has - 54 for the Libs, 71 for the ALP.

Abbott
Alan Ramsey has a feel-good article about the Howard government getting bent over the table when it comes to interviews with the ABC. Howard has been denying Abbott ever shaped opinions when it came to Labor's education policy and Pell being against it, even though he met with him shortly before the statement against it was released.

Kyoto
The PM is still refusing to go with Kyoto. Fucking hell. What was the last decision that he made that the majority of the public actually wanted? Other than the US, we are the only industrialised country in the world not to have signed on. That's a fucking joke.

More Open Letter Fun
Time time around, it's 40 of Australia's artists/actors/writers/directors that have written an open letter demanding truth in government. Keep them coming! He can't reject them forever.

The Rest
Other news, Latham will move into The Lodge if he wins, and give Kirribilli House to charities (unlike Howard), he hasn't ruled out tax increases, Howard wants more tests and standard reporting for schoolkids (which is going to totally piss the shit out of the teachers and unions - comparison standards instead of academic standards), and Howard wants everyone to vote either Labor or Liberal, no other parties.

Blogtastic
The Road To Surfdom has a potentially scandalous post regarding Iraq, lying, and our involvement, and Back Pages bags Howard's oldie payments.

This is the best article I've read today - an interview with both Latham and Howard. And this one is the second best.

2004-10-03T01:04:00.000+10:00

Infinitely cooler than Tony Abbott.

The Ando Zone: Episode 2

2004-10-02T23:56:00.000+10:00

Today Ando was claiming the election of the ALP could result in 500 road accidents a year.

I don't know. How can you elaborate on that? It's regarding a statement released by Ando, titled "Labor's plan for Five Hundred Road Crashes a Year," which has since had its name changed on the National's website. The whole thing is from Latho mentioning there was savings to be had within the Black Spot project. And BOOM! Ando went on the attack! Go Ando!

The ALP transport guy (Martin Ferguson) had this to say in response:

"This comes from a man who goes around promoting himself as Australia's leading Christian politician and the claim is nothing more than a blatant lie. His claims are beneath contempt and for anyone to suggest that the Opposition is advocating a policy that will put people's lives at risk is a disgrace."

Read all about it over in The Australian's story, Outrage At Anderson's Road Carnage Claim.

And there was also an anonymous comment the other day in here:

Got an "Ando Zone" item for you: on ABC-TV news tonight, during a story about the big paedophile bust, they played comments by the main party leaders. Ando said (approx): "This is another demonstration that in the 1960s and 1970s we relaxed too many social taboos."

I can't confirm this as I can't find any news stories on it, but yes Ando, I'm sure paedophilia never existed before the 1960s. Tool.

Election 2004 | Day 33 | Roundup

2004-10-02T03:26:00.000+10:00

7 DAYS TO GO. Just think, in just over a week we'll either have a new PM or will be performing ritual suicide/moving to New Zealand.

Looks like Howard's new annoying thing he says is "submit to Treasury for costing." I find this unfair. If Labor has to do that, the Liberals should have to submit all their crap to Simon Crean as well, because I dead-set don't trust Treasury to give an unbiased result.

Poll Vault has calculated that Labor and the Coalition have been spending $6945 a second in election promises. Ouch!

Latham caught onto Abbott's dodgy dealings today.

"Our Health Minister is not honest."
- Latho

Well, yeah.

The Medicare Gold plan was put to Abbott a while ago, and he basically didn't do anything about it.

Labor announced another $300m plan for additional nursing home beds, to go with the whole Medicare Gold thing. Howard has been predictably negative about everything. The Australian reckons olds'll still vote Howard though.

Howard threw in a $200 a year bri... payment to self-funded retirees. Robert Corr points out that they'd be better off under Labor's tax package anyway.

People don't seem to care that morals campaigner Ross Cameron was out and about sticking his dick into other women while his wife was pregnant. Honesty in government. If you can happily lie to your wife, you sure as hell wouldn't go lying to the rest of the public about anything, would you?

Latham is still reportedly all for getting (some) troops out of Iraq by Christmas. From the same article, there's this great quote:

"I don't automatically follow what Mr Blair or indeed anybody else says."
- Johnno

You heard the man! He doesn't take crap from anyone! This totally includes Bush!

And Kyoto is starting to appear in the campaign at last!