Completely Biased

Moved!

2006-07-03T18:05:00.000+10:00

Completely Biased has moved far, far away from the timeouts, broken pipe errors, and crappy photo hosting of BlogSpot over to its own domain, where sunshine and lollipops roam free in fields of jellybeans! I've moved over to completelybiased.com, and may or may not bitch about politics, depending on my mood. Please update your bookmarks and links!

More Blogging From The Future

2005-02-11T01:21:00.000+11:00

Are you in Asia Dave? Are we married in the future?

Yes to both, Lee Lee. We got married a while back, have a mind-blowing sex life, and are still as totally hawt as the day we met. We have a nice partnership going - I write the movies and you make them (and yes, the highlight of your life so far (beating our wedding day) was directing Steve Martin's last film before he died). Go us. We're currently in Asia (main reason we're overseas is for you - the entire collapse of the Australian film industry means you have to travel abroad to get work), but I'm a bit worried about the situation here. It looks like there's a war of the nuclear variety brewing between China and the US - America wants to "democracise them back into the stone age," and China is just telling them to get fucked.

It's mainly due to America's dominance as a superpower starting to crumble, and that China's economy has gone from strength to strength (mainly at the expense of the US). There's still some anger over President Schwarzenegger's assasination a few years ago, which some Chinese officials were allegedly involved in, and the media has constantly been stirring that pot since then, trying to get a real anti-Asian sentiment going. I'll give it a few more months until something happens.

So yeah, it's a bit iffy. We're not in China, but there's a chance it could spill over the borders. In any case though, this has been one hell of a trip!

Blogging From The Future

2005-02-10T01:23:00.000+11:00

Wow! I haven't updated this shit since Family First's laws were passed! Weird to see that my password still works. I wonder if people still read this. Well, outside of Australia anyway, seeing as though the Internet is censored from there anyway. Yes, thankyou very fucking much Family First. Worst coalition ever. Even worse than when the ALP split and ALP Right sided with the Libs. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." Yes, look where that got you, geniuses.

I'm overseas at the moment (hence the uncensored Internet). It's nice to be in a slightly less right-wing country, although I suspect I'll have a bitch of a time getting back to Australia thanks to Immigration. My RFID tag got infected so I had to get it removed while I was over here, which'll probably lead to me being stuck in detention as an asylum seeker, and if I cop some bad luck, ASIO will be buttfucking me when I get back at the airport. "How come your tag isn't appearing in our monitoring system?" "Coz I took it out." "What?! Planning a terrorist attack were you?! You know the law, all Australians must keep their RFID tags at all times! Assume the position!" THANKS A LOT COCKHEADS, I DIDN'T VOTE FOR THAT IN 2015.

Yes, fuck those freedom-hating terrorists. Good to see we got them beat, with our tracking systems for all citizens and removal of privacy laws. Freedom 1, terrorists 0. To think that all we had to do to remain a free country was to revoke most of our freedom.

Fuck Tony Abbott in the ear. Worst PM ever. And that's saying something, considering I lived through 7 years of Ruddock.

So yes, I'm over here looking for a job. The new revisions in the FTA screwed me over last year (the part where any Australian business has to vacate a field an American company wishes to enter in), so I'm gonna try and get employment out here, seeing as though the highest you can pretty much get (without having parents with connections) is manager of the local Maccas.

TV over here is much more varied. Weird to see a commercial-free station out here, after finally getting used to the government privatising the ABC and Lachlan Murdoch buying it out (not to mention the weirdness of Fox News doing the 7 o'clock slot - I mean you could at least use Australian presenters instead of just taking a feed from the satellite). Speaking of Murdoch, there is an insane amount of stuff happening in the world that I just never knew what was happening. Hurrah for media diversity.

I'm on antibiotics to kill this infection from the RFID tag (clearly they should've researched more before implementing this, I wonder if anyone else is having similar problems?), but they're only $15 a pack compared to the $200 they are back home. Cheap!

It's just so much nicer here. Considering never going back. Public schools still exist here (the real kind (remember them?), not the corporate-funded ones), non-Hillsong people aren't discriminated against, women are allowed to work, homosexuals aren't taxed twice as much as heterosexuals ("morals tax," another brilliant Lib/FF initiative), dissent is allowed, the phone lines actually work, premarital sex isn't a criminal offence (same for abortion), and there's no bullshit talk of a referendum to get rid of elections. To think that we assisted in destroying entire countries over democracy (remember Iraq? And how it turned out to be such a failed experiment that they just gave up and nuked the place because it was costing too much?) 20 years ago, and now we're seriously considering getting rid of it here. And I thought extending government terms to 7 years at a time was bad enough. WHY DO YOU MORONS KEEP VOTING FOR THIS SHIT?!

"Let us do the voting for you."

WHY DOES NOBODY ELSE FIND THIS SLOGAN CREEPY/MOCKING?!

Ugh. I don't know how many of you will ever be able to read this back home, but good luck. I've finally given up on Australia.

But hey, interest rates are still low, and that's what counts, right?

2005-02-07T01:38:00.000+11:00

(okay, running late on the Ando Zone)

The Ando Zone: Episode 11

2005-02-07T23:52:00.000+11:00

Alright, I seem to keep coming back to this blog after bailing on it, so from now on I'll not give it up, but just not make any promises on when I'll next update. I have no net access while I'm typing this, as I'm out in woop woop, but I saved a bunch of bits of news to work from.

You'll remember that around November 22nd of last year, the federal police decided not to go ahead with a case against Ando and friends, as there was a lack of evidence. Whether or not this was the case, we'll never know, but Ando has gotten away with it in any case.

However, the Senate has gotten an inquiry underway (while they still can) into electoral rorts (ie. pork barreling), featuring the Ando scandal as the centrepiece.

Tony Windsor has stood by his allegations made against Ando still, and this time two of his staffers (Helen Tickle, campaign secretary, and Stephen Hall, campaign manager) have backed him up on his claims. Hall and Windsor have also stated that Greg McGuire (the guy that made the offer of a diplomatic posting to Windsor) said on three separate occasions that he'd lie to police to protect Ando, because he didn't want to be the person who "brings down the Deputy PM."

"I recall him saying, 'Look, they're so desperate they'd offer you anything, a diplomatic posting,' and he said, Senator Macdonald was on the sideline, "Yes we can arrange anything." So, yeah, and I recall him saying that I know that Tony was upset by that comment, and that I have said in my police statement as well, I recall he was offended by this. He actually swore. I didn't catch what he said cause he didn't say it very loudly, but he's not a person who swears in front of women, in fact it's the first time he ever has in front of me and he turned and apologised."
- Helen Tickle

Hall also said that McGuire threatened him, in that if he didn't go along with McGuire's version of events, he would "finish him."

Ando still says the claims are untrue, and that he lies awake crying at night over them. Well, not that extreme, but something to that effect.

Fat Kim has challenged Ando to face the Senate inquiry.

"I think what the deputy prime minister ought to do, if he believes that his reputation is being impugned, he should appear before the inquiry."
- The Spineless One

In fact, Ando, McGuire, Senator Macdonald and De-Anne Kelly (former regional affairs secretary) have all dodged appearing before the inquiry.

(yes, that sucked, but I'm still getting back in the swing of things)

2005-02-04T17:25:00.000+11:00

"I can't believe that women in this day and age are so dumb to get pregnant willy-nilly."
- Alan Cadman, Liberal Party genius extraordinaire

How many steps backward must we take, before we start going forward again?

2005-02-04T13:58:00.000+11:00

Oh God, I just can't stay away.

I think I've figured out how Kim Beazley and his staffers develop policies and whatnot.

"Y'know, John Howard seemed to be really successful last election. Here's his policies here. He used them and won, so I don't see why we can't. They go on about being the party all about choice, well, now we can be too! And what a choice we'll be! This strategy almost won it for me in 2001, so I think if we try it again, but try it harder, we might just get over the line this time. 2007, here we come! Provided I don't get undermined by then, anyway."

(episode 11 of The Ando Zone coming Sunday night)

Waiting For A Day That Will Never Come

2005-01-31T01:38:00.000+11:00

I can't get motivated to do this anymore. Every time I read the paper it is always about the party I hoped would represent me in parliament bickering among themselves and being general fuckwits. How can anything change with an opposition being so pathetic? Hooray. Kim Beazley again. Hooray. Now all we need is a spine.

If they ever get their shit together, then maybe I could start ranting again, but at this point it's just like watching a bunch of fucking lemmings walk around in circles.

So this is me more or less giving up. Maybe when Gillard's time comes we can get excited again. But for now, I'm content to just read page after page of bad news every single fucking day. I'll still stalk you all on your blogs and have an argument with anyone who starts one, but for now, I'm done posting.

It's been a fun/depressing couple of months. Best wishes to all of my filthy communist hippie friends, and I'll be back when I no longer feel like I'm just constantly bashing my head against a wall.

A spineless teddy bear, the Invisible Woman, and a bunch of termites...

LABOR: GET YOUR FUCKING SHIT TOGETHER.

2005-01-20T19:35:00.000+11:00

Don't put a revolving door on the entrance of the Opposition Leader's office. That door only leads to permanent opposition.
- Simon Crean, November 29, 2003

Marky Mark And His Funky Bunch

2005-01-18T19:13:00.000+11:00

Wow! Apparently Latham's testicular cancer has re-emerged, because it seems like he's lost his fucking balls. Here's his statement:

A number of colleagues have asked me to address the uncertainty concerning the Labor leadership. While I had planned to reassess things at the end of my leave period on 26 January, the ongoing speculation is damaging the Party and needs to be dealt with now.

Obviously I am disappointed with the press coverage over the last fortnight. Despite being on annual leave and recovering from illness, the media have been constantly camped outside our home.

In recent days, I have been able to get away to rest and recover and talk to my family about our priorities for the future. Our conclusion is that I should look after my health and pursue a normal life outside of politics. Therefore I have decided to resign both as Labor Leader and Member for Werriwa.

I have had a well-publicised problem with pancreatitis that has been hard to overcome. This condition and the uncertain timing of the attacks are incompatible with the demands and stresses of a parliamentary life.

When I was hospitalised in August, for instance, the media frenzy was over the top, with photographers shooting through my hospital window. Accordingly, I have done everything I could to keep subsequent episodes as private as possible.

Unfortunately ever since the recent bout became known, and even though I was on annual leave, the media has been harassing people in our street, forcing our neighbours to call the police on several occasions.

Obviously this situation cannot continue. Public office can take it out of people and, after 17 years and two serious life-threatening illnesses, the time has come to put my family and my health first. While it is important to try to help people through community involvement, this should not be at the expense of loved ones.

I am exceptionally fortunate to have a fantastic family, especially my beautiful wife and two little boys. I would be crazy to put this at risk. In politics everyone talks about family values. I would like to practice them in a normal way.

I want to thank the Labor party for the opportunity of leading it to the last election and trying to form a Labor Government. I hope that my colleagues can achieve this vital goal in the future and I wish them well.

I am proud that, even from opposition, we achieved some important reforms in 2004, such as the reform of parliamentary superannuation, changes to the US trade agreement, improved childhood immunisation, a baby care payment and placing the importance of early childhood development on the national agenda. I did my best to lead a genuinely progressive Australian Labor Party.

I wish to thank the people of Werriwa for the opportunity of representing them since 1994 and putting something back into our local community.

I also thank the local Labor party members and particularly my staff, who have worked so hard both in the electorate and in Parliament House.

I again thank the Labor supporters and members who backed our cause in the last campaign and gave me encouragement as Labor Leader.

Thank you all very much.

What he meant to say was:

Dear everybody,

You can all suck my arse. Quit your whining and bickering for a change, and realise that you're all as much to blame as I am for what is going on with the ALP. Now shut the fuck up, get behind me for a change, and let's do our fucking jobs for a change. Yes Carr, I'm looking at you, cockhead.

Now piss off. I'm sick and off work till Australia Day. I will return with some steel-capped boots, and will be kicking numerous people up the date then.

Have a nice day,
Latho.

Much more inspiring, wasn't it? I can't believe odds are we're looking at Beazley again. AGAIN. I look at my misspelt ALP membership card and sigh. Replacing a leader that's lost his balls with another that had none to begin with. On the upside, I'm betting this merry-go-round will continue and come January the 18th, 2006, we'll be looking at another new leader. Hooray.

Maybe the ALP needs to just collapse on itself. Maybe everyone currently holding a senior position should be fired and not allowed to return. Because the party has massive problems, and they've got fuck all to do with the leader.

Latham is going to be replaying this in his head for the rest of his life. And regretting it (especially in 2007 when we get to see Beazley (if he's still even leader) going "uhh... me too" during the election campaign). Obviously I don't believe his ailments are the primary reason for quitting.

I mean yes, someone else might get leadership other than Beazley, but seriously, like that'll happen. Jules would be awesome though.

So this is me, disappointed and pissed off. It'd be nice to write something positive in here for a change.

2005-01-18T15:02:00.000+11:00

Oh bloody hell. What a joke.

2005-01-17T00:16:00.000+11:00

How to ensure you permanently stay in Opposition:

Vote for party leader.
Endorse party leader for about a week.
Set about undermining party leader.
Throw Fat Kim in the works.
Bicker amongst yourselves while the rest of the country looks on and rolls their eyes.
Bring party to brink of collapse, hold ballot for new leader.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

Brand New Day

2005-01-14T01:47:00.000+11:00

are we getting screwed or is it just me?

Like Australian citizens overseas, this blog has been totally abandoned for way too long. So I am back from my apathetic break from the blogging world, all ready to spew out another round of hate-filled bile. What triggered it? Why, Phillip Ruddock of all people, but I'll get to that later.

So what've I missed? Quite a bit, it would seem. Andrew Bolt had one last tug while looking in the mirror and took off on holidays; Piers Akerman is still putting the boot into Latham while he's down; after all the efforts to install McDemocracy™ in Iraq, apparently we can't be fucked actually letting Iraqis vote; the Free Trade Agreement has come into effect and Holden are already looking at manufacturing most of their cars in America and importing them, instead of building them here; and most likely countless other things that I haven't even read about. I don't even know what Ando is up to now. Must get onto that.

Oh wait, he's mentioned here in a story on a road funding election promise that the Government has since bailed on.

Yes, Ruddock. What a twat. He looks like the big evil green face in the Wizard Of Oz too. Anyway, he was on the 7:30 Report the other night stating that even though Mamdouh Habib hasn't been charged after three years of being left to rot in a prison camp with a dodgy legal system, they'd still give him shit when he returned to Australia.

HEATHER EWART: But in a democracy like ours, if charges are not laid, isn't a person entitled to live normally with the presumption of innocence?

PHILIP RUDDOCK: Well, they're entitled to live a normal life, subject to Australian law, and...

HEATHER EWART: Do you see what I mean? What sort of precedent are you setting here?

PHILIP RUDDOCK: Well, no, I'm simply saying that under Australian law, there are certain authorities that have - with appropriate consents to undertake a range of activities in relation to any Australians.

Oh it's great. My favourite quote was this:

No, but in accordance with the rules of war, enemy combatants are entitled to be held until the conclusion of hostilities. I mean, that's the principle. The war against terror is a significant engagement in which we're all involved, and it is not concluded.

That's right, the rules of war apply because we're apparently at war! Only problem is that we don't actually know who we're at war with.

The good old ALP is having a fun time imploding yet again isn't it? And they wonder why they don't win elections. Contrary to popular belief, Latham is staying on (although other news sources are speculating still, so who knows really). And he's alive. Although Ms Fits' reasoning is hard to argue with. And what the shit, Kim Beazley is eyeing leadership again?! GIVE IT UP ALREADY. Latham's statement is here. I have to say this speculation about Gillard is cool though.

And the US has given up on trying to find WMDs in Iraq. Will Howard admit Australians were misled? Sure he will!

Fairfax are looking at going shopping for Ten, due to cross-media laws getting axed in July. But what if PBL buys Fairfax? Would that mean Nine would own Ten? It is late and I should be sleeping. Night all; I'll try and do a more organised post tomorrow.

2004-12-15T23:54:00.000+11:00

Yes, I am quite the slack mofo. Waiting for Apple (don't ask) to build me a damn laptop. When they get that done (2050 maybe) I'll be regular here again. So yes, hope that clears up any mysteries.

Oh, and if anyone is going to see Veruca Salt, can you drag me along too please?

WWE SmackDown! vs Labor, Kyoto, FTA Stuff

2004-12-06T22:48:00.000+11:00

I'm going to continue with the WWE/ALP analogies as long as I possibly can.

Last week on SmackDown, there was a tag team match - Eddie Guerrero and Booker T vs the Basham Brothers. Anyway, things were looking good for Guerrero and Booker, up until they decided to start bickering amongst themselves halfway through the match. They stood there arguing with each other, and lost sight of the fact that they were trying to win a match. The Bashams snuck up behind them while they were preoccupied, basically kicked them in the head, and won. They now have to face the Undertaker and JBL in a fatal four-way in a few weeks, and have had the crap beaten out of them, putting them at a severe disadvantage for the main championship event.

There's a lesson to be learnt there, and if sweaty fat men grappling each other can't teach it, I don't know who can. Still trying to come up with a WWE analogy on Labor agreeing with everything Howard does in the name of "economic credibility."

Kyoto
Ian Campbell, Lib Environment Minister is off for a conference in Buenos Aires all about the Kyoto Protocol. You know, the one we have nothing to do with, courtesy of the Libs.

First up, Bob hands out a serve:

"Senator Campbell, the Environment Minister, is flying off to Buenos Aires in a flurry of self-congratulations about a failed policy," Senator Brown said.

"Australia is at the back of the pack. It's been taken there by the Howard Government.

"The refusal to sign Kyoto underscores a developing problem for Australia's future economy.

"The Government's permission for greenhouse gas emissions from the coal and gas-fired industries to increase at an unprecedented rate is covered by the non-government policy achievement of reduced land clearing, particularly in Queensland."
- Bob Brown

Then Labor (Anthony Albanese, to be exact) got in on the action:

"(The conference) is the 10th taking place under the auspices of the international community to lead up to the coming into effect of the Kyoto Protocol on February 16 next year," Mr Albanese told reporters.

"With Russia signing up to ratify the protocol, it will come into effect with only Australia and the United States missing out.

"Every Australian knows that Australia has refused to sign up to the protocol.

"But, guess what? The Environment Minister Ian Campbell doesn't mind jumping on a jet with staff and other Australian government officials and going to the conference in Buenos Aires to talk about the protocol that they're not signing up to.

"This is an extraordinary example of government arrogance, of waste and mismanagement."

He said the government had no credibility at the conference, having refused, along with the United States, to sign Kyoto.

"I guess the equivalent is, maybe Minister Campbell's a toolie at schoolies' week up on the Gold Coast," Mr Albanese said.

"He's not invited, he's not a participant and yet he wants to engage in a gratuitous way in some of the activities in Buenos Aires.

"It lacks credibility from a minister who won't ratify the protocol."

Then there's the whinging about us not supporting it because it disadvantages developing countries (and since when did Howard give a rat's arse about them? Didn't Bob Geldof call us embarrassingly pathetic?). Are we a third world developing nation? No, didn't think so. Odds are if 129 or so countries sign on for it, it is generally a good idea. More of a summary over at ABC News.

Eff Tee Aye
Yet more probs, this time in Internetland. Basically our copyright laws are going to become much harsher, as those were the demands of the MPAA/RIAA, and we all know how good the Libs are at negotiating with America and its companies.

The IIA (Internet Industry Association) claims the legislative changes would make possession of pirated materials a criminal offence, and could make internet service providers criminally liable for pirated material that exists on their systems. The IIA also believes the system of take-down orders proposed through the legislation would put an onerous administrative burden on its members.

Basically, when running a gigantic webserver with a few thousand user accounts, it isn't feasible to dig through every single user's home directory/webspace and whatever is stuck in the cache to determine what they have and whether or not it is illegal. With new legislation brought in, you'll either have to start doing things like that and risk pissing your customers off, or not do it, and risk pissing off gigantic corporations. Sucks to be an ISP.

“Not only will ISPs be bombarded by claims from copyright owners, but the new provisions require ISPs to disable access to users’ websites in response to any claim that material may be infringing”

“Incredibly, the provisions have even stripped away protections required by the FTA that ISPs be protected from damages claims if they take material down from the internet. We are now stuck between a rock and a hard place - we’re liable to copyright owners if we don’t act, and liable to our customers if we do”.
- Peter Coroneos, IIA chairman

More over at The Age and News Ltd.

Towing The Party Line
12 Libs are facing the axe from the party because they supported Peter King instead of Malcolm Turnbull during the election.

Back!

2004-12-05T19:40:00.000+11:00

Lesson In Life #46973: Whilst moonlighting is always good to make extra cash, it so isn't worth the extra time it requires.

So, so busy. I haven't even had time to pluck petals off flowers and wonder if Ms Fits loves me or not. This past fortnight has shown me how easy it is to just not care about everything that is going on. But I'll try and get back in the loop now.

I got my ALP membership card, all with my name nice and mispelt on it. Lovely. There's a new members night on Tuesday, but I can't make it. Best case scenario, if I caught CityRail into Sydney, I'd get there just as it was ending. Worst case scenario, I'd die of old age on the train. Thanks Carr. If anyone is going, could you punch him in the head for me?

First local branch meeting is on Friday, so hopefully I'll get to have a say on how the ALP is hell-bent on being the Liberal Party.

"You know, our best chance for re-election is to become the Liberal party!"
"Yes, that's brilliant! Because people would be more likely to vote for us if we don't provide any alternative ideas and just shout 'me too!' at everything!"
"This is genius!"
"You know what else? There's not nearly enough attempts to undermine our leader going on. I say we really try to damage him and our prospects, because that'd just be a fucking stupid thing to do."
"Yes!"

Secret conversations from within the upper echelons! I swear, it's getting stupider than the WWE. That's the only other thing I can think of that has factions, too.

I'll start posting again tomorrow. I'll be here all night if I'm going to write about everything that's been happening over the last two weeks (strange dealings going on in Queensland, Howard agreeing to see Michael Long after he walked 400km, the Daily Telegraph manufacturing a P plate "crisis," Miranda Devine somehow being on the panel into an inquiry on reading in schools), so I'll leave it for now. There's heaps of other sites to find all that out anyway.

2004-11-28T22:08:00.001+11:00

As you've probably noticed, Completely Biased is on a temporary hiatus at the moment. Hopefully all will be back to normal within a week.

The Ando Zone: Episode 10

2004-11-22T22:33:00.000+11:00

No charges will be laid in relation to claims Deputy Prime Minister John Anderson attempted to bribe an independent MP, the Australian Federal Police (AFP) said today.

Ando wins. Coincidentally this is the first time News Ltd has run this story as a header (wow, didn't see that one coming).

Apparently the evidence "does not sustain a charge." Bah. So either Ando has been innocent all along (which I really can't believe), or he covered his tracks too well. I suppose we'll never really know for sure.

The Ando Zone: Episode 9

2004-11-22T00:46:00.000+11:00

So you think the Nationals couldn't possibly be fool enough to blunder into a bit of ham-fisted jiggery-pokery to regain a prize bush seat they'd held for 80 years until the stolid Mr Independent came along and took it from them two elections ago? Don't be so wet. Do you really think Tony Windsor, after 13 years of a political career in a country town sustained only by local trust and confidence in his honesty and integrity and not by party political clout or organisation, would throw it away on a wild story with no basis whatever? Think about it. And think about the real issue here: the National Party itself and its gradual slide into political oblivion.

...Says Alan Ramsey, in an opinion piece inside the SMH, which is seriously lacking in commas.

This Ando saga has more twists than an M Night Shyamalan movie. Granted, his movies usually have only one big twist, but anyway, you get my point.

Maguire did his statement on Friday, and came out saying that no, Ando and friends never asked him to offer Windsor a bribe to quit politics. Yes, there was a meeting with Ando, says Maguire, but it was over funding for a National Equine and Livestock Centre. WebDiary talks about it more.

The Nationals immediately started calling for Windsor to resign, and Ando/Howard are demanding an apology. Before the investigation has even finished.

Latho wants the police to finish their investigation before anyone goes calling for anyone to resign, and also mentioned that Ando was apparently against funding the Livestock Centre, but was all for funding once Windsor was off the board.

And now the Greens are looking for cross-bench support for a parliamentary inquiry for investigations of impropriety with regards to the funding of the centre. But will they get one, considering the state of the Senate now?

The latest news now, appearing in the Herald Sun:

THE Australian Federal Police are believed to be sitting on explosive testimony backing claims that independent MP Tony Windsor was offered a bribe to vacate his parliamentary seat.

This just gets more and more interesting!

"It's a predictable pattern. Pulling all the ministers out now, to squash the little ant.That seems to me that they are taking it very very seriously. If this was a minor skirmish between Windsor and Anderson, having a bit of a biff over the sidelines, the PM would say let the boys have their go."
- Tony Windsor, on the calls for him to resign

The story continues...

Grogblogging

2004-11-21T02:40:00.000+11:00

Looks like Tim Blair pussied out. I thought RWDB's were meant to be all fearless and everything?

Okay, I shall write about the night in excruciatingly boring detail, as is the case when I go out somewhere.

We open on me scamming a lift to the station from my brother. I get there, buy a ticket ($9.80), then sit down at Blaxland Station and wait for the train to arrive. A girl comes up to me and says hi. I ignore her. She says hi again. I look up, and she looks very familiar.

"Do you know who I am?"
"Ummm... Alex?"
"Yes! I thought I knew you!"

Alex was my next-door neighbour for most of high school. She was a great person, but ended up going the drug-fucked teen route. Which sucked. She's an absolute stunner now. Anyway, quick chat and then the train arrived (7:11, more or less on time). And then it occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea where The Clock actually was. I'd looked it up on the net before I left, but had wandered off before the page loaded. I sent an SMS to Jess, but got no reply because she's an evil demon-lady spawned from hell who hates me. That and Vodafone were jerking her around. But mainly the first thing.

Anyway, grabbed a seat away from screaming kids, and sort of dozed in and out of consciousness for most of the trip. Ticket inspector appeared around Emu Plains; Darp rang soon after that with directions to get to the Clock. I noticed it had started raining, then fell asleep.

At around 8:40, the train pulled into Central. I was starving. And also needed to take a monster slash. Found the toilet, drained my lizard, then went on over to HJ's for some quality* food. Whopper value meal. Ate 3/4, felt like spewing, forced myself to eat the rest.

And then it was off to find Devonshire St! The main area outside Hungry Jack's had a map of Central, and I found Devonshire off to the side; if I followed Eddy Ave then Elizabeth St. Out I went, into the pouring rain, and started walking in what I hoped was the right direction. A few minutes later I was unsure, so I asked a few people who either just shook their heads and ran off, or said they didn't know. Finally a CityRail guy pointed me the right way, and within a few minutes I was trekking up Devonshire St in the pissing rain. This took a while, and I was starting to worry that I'd missed the intersection for Crown St, but kept on walking. And then I arrived on it! Took a left and at long last found the Clock down the street a few hundred metres.

By now I was drenched. I went into the hotel and wandered around. Couldn't remember if Darp said everyone was upstairs or downstairs. I didn't want to appear completely lost so I took a quick stroll around, and found nobody. I SMSed Darp again, then my stomach wanted to evict some HJ's. Walked off to the upstairs dunnies, and proceeded to drop a fat one. Darp rang whilst I was preoccupied with this task. Apparently we were all downstairs near the entrance, meaning I'd walked right past everyone when I went in. Oops.

In I go to the crowd, looking somewhat petrified/lost. Darp spotted me, did the big intro to everyone, then we all got started with some mutual sucking-up. Quite a lot of it actually. Met Jess, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Weezil, and Agent Fare Evader. Chatty chatty chat chat, then I started getting nervous, freaked out, and sat outside for a while.

I'm just really bad at the whole pub socialising thing. It just isn't something I'm totally comfortable with. Apologies if I came across as rude to anyone or anything like that, it's just that I suck.

Anyway, I went back in, wandered around packing my dacks, then a thought occurred to me that chewing gum would solve all my problems. I don't know why. It just appeared in my head. I headed out to go and find a convenience store, but Suki stopped me to say hi first. We stood outside and talked a bit.

She is awesome. Reminds me of an aunty of mine, in both looks and personality. Anyway, we talked for a bit and she said many nice things about me, then went back inside while I started my Quest For Spearmint Extra.

Basically it involved walking in a straight line for about a kilometre, buying gum, then walking back. Mission accomplished! I started chewing and felt amazingly confident. Then I went back in the Clock and felt just as nervous as before, but with a fresh minty (no, not twat) taste in my mouth.

"Well, that was a complete waste of time, you utter pussy," said a voice in my head.
"I concur, old chap," said another.
"Why not just grow some fucking testicles and talk to people? They know each other about as well as you do," said voice number one.
"Fine, if it'll make you shut the hell up," said me, in my head. This is making me sound like a crazy person, isn't it?

Wandered around a bit more, and said goodbye to Jess, as she was leaving. Then I ended up talking to Darp, Flashman, Pissed Guy In Green Shirt Whose Name I Can't Remember, and some chick whose name I didn't manage to catch at all. It was very noisy.

Following that, I went over to Suki and checked out her camera, which was quite cool. Met... TimT and another guy called Tim (gah, sorry, can't remember your address), who was proudly holding a printout of his blog traffic. And we were all suitably impressed. Oh God, we're pathetic.

I then got carried away watching the boxing, these two guys staggering around trying to punch each other out. Just wondering who'd collapse first. But neither did while I was watching! Amazing.

Wandered over and said hi to... THE FLUTE! He is so cool. Would've liked to have talked to him more, without doof blaring over the top of his voice. Ahh well, next time!

It was starting to get close to midnight at around this time, and I really had to get going, before my stagecoach turned into a pumpkin (last train out of Sydney's almost gone - at 12:11 (on my line anyway)). Darp & Co were also walking back to Central, so I went along with them. That made a party of Darp, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Agent Fare Evader, a girl who I later learned was called Giselle (that your girlfriend, Darp? Quite the looker!), and yours truly. We went back the same way I came, but with the difference of light drizzle instead of bastard rain.

I didn't say much on the way back; it was more interesting listening to everyone else speak. Eventually we reached the stairs at Central and parted ways. I picked a corridor at random and hoped it lead to the magical Platform 4... and wound up there! Woo! Bought a lemon/lime/orange 600mL Deep Spring, got on the train, sculled it, then went back to a half-asleep state.

At around 1:40, the train pulled into Blaxland, in pissing down rain. Due to me being too paranoid about leaving my car at the station, I was looking forward to a nice wet half hour walk home. But my parents, on their way home from a party of their own, called and offered a lift. I love them.

Got home, had a shower, wrote a heap of keywords to help me remember what happened last night, and crashed, only to wake up at 8 and go to fucking work. Ugh.

Now I shall sleep for what is hopefully a ridiculously long amount of time. Tomorrow can be Ando Day. I'm declaring it a national holiday. But as it's a Sunday, you can all have Monday off.

* this is debatable.

The Ando Zone: Episode 8

2004-11-18T23:49:00.000+11:00

You know, it was just the other week I felt disappointed that I didn't get to use this graphic enough, as Ando didn't appear in the news nearly as much as I'd like him to. But now I'm having an Ando overload! Everywhere I look, I can't not see the Great One making a goose of himself! Maybe Sky News Active could devote a screen to Ando, like what they did with Howard and Latham during the election.

I would like to go on the record as saying I believe Windsor. Whilst tracking Ando the last few months it has become apparent to me that he really would be stupid enough to try and set something like this up. I also feel that Windsor doesn't have anything to gain by saying this, he only wants to do the right thing, otherwise he would've flat-out named Ando during the election.

The Road To Surfdom has an interesting analysis of Ando's statement in regards to the allegations.

The attention is now turning to Greg Maguire, the local Tamworth hotel owner who was sent to Windsor to ask him to stand down. Maguire agreed with Windsor that it was an absurd proposition, but just said that he was only the messenger (Windsor has given him his support (and at News Ltd too)). He is due to give his statement tomorrow, so this'll all get even crazier. Which side will he take? Has either side bought him off? Will a gigantic muckraking campaign kick off?

The mayor of Tamworth reckons this entire thing has been blown out of proportion, and that Maguire just said to Windsor that he was crap and should take a job overseas.

Windsor's campaign secretary, Helen Tickle has given a statement to the police, but won't discuss it with anyone.

I will change my predictions of a Bolt/Akerman puff-piece on Ando to a Bolt/Akerman character assasination on Windsor/Maguire based on what HackWatch said. It is much more their MO.

WebDiary is keeping track of everything going on in Question Time and elsewhere, and makes for an interesting read. Labor have been giving Ando a hammering over it.

The Age and News Ltd have further analysis on everything.

" ... I can simply say to you ... I fully support John Anderson, I believe him, he's a very honest person. I retain full confidence in John Anderson, and I haven't met a more honest, faithful person in public life. That's my view of the man. And I've certainly always found Senator Macdonald, the other person involved, to be very straight forward and honest."
- John Howard

But how much is the testimonial of a repeatedly proven liar worth?

2004-11-19T00:33:00.000+11:00

I'll be there sometime. I'm relying on the trains though, so I might end up arriving on Monday morning.

CityRail. We'll get you there. Eventually.

Sell Me Out

2004-11-18T23:00:00.000+11:00

Sigh.

God I wish I had more time to rant about stuff. But anyway, in case you missed it, the FTA went through today. It comes into effect on January the 1st.

Canberra estimates the free trade agreement will boost the Australian economy by billions of dollars a year and create up to 30,000 jobs.
- Channel NewsAsia

That's right, now it'll be even easier to become a Maccas employee!

Some changes to copyright law were added at the last minute to allow easier buttfucking by record companies and whatnot. So, as Howard says, today is an historic day in Australia's history. A "once in a generation" opportunity to link itself to the US economy (you know, like what Botswana and Guatemala have done). You know, the one Bush has driven into the ground. I can imagine how it'll be seen in 20 years time.

Thursday the 18th of November, 2004: The day the government sold off something bigger than Telstra - the country.

The Ando Zone: Episode 7

2004-11-18T01:01:00.000+11:00

The shit hath hitteth the faneth, as that guy from Ten Things I Hate About You would say.

A while ago I wrote that all news about Tony Windsor had dried up after September the 28th. You may remember our beloved Ando called Windsor a "coward" for going to the police over these bribery allegations, and also that he basically admitted to doing it.

"Who in the National Party, apart from me in consultation with the PM and foreign minister, could have offered somebody a diplomatic posting? It could only have been me."
- Ando

Wow! And it looks like it was too! If Windsor just wanted to take Ando down, why not name names before the election was over?

The Daily Telegraph is incorrectly reporting that Windsor named the Nationals during the campaign.

Mr Windsor, who holds the electorate of New England with a huge majority, rocked the election campaign with allegations that the offer was made on behalf of the National Party.

At the time, he said an intermediary of the party had promised him a diplomatic post in exchange for him giving up the seat he has held since 2001.

If I remember right, Windsor refused to name any names or parties unless the police asked him to (and didn't give any names during the campaign at all), although everyone speculated it was the Nats.

Here's what Windsor said tonight (this is his full parliament speech):

Windsor's Parliament Speech
"Mr Speaker, the House would be aware that the Australian Federal Police have referred an alleged breach of the Commonwealth Electoral Act to the DPP for determination relating to an inducement offered to me not to stand for re-election at the election just held.

"The House would also know that the prime minister has called on me to name the names of those people involved in the attempt to bribe me.

"I would like to place on record, Mr Speaker, an account of a meeting that took place on the 19th of May 2004 at 10.30am at the office of Tamworth businessman, Mr Greg Maguire, in the Powerhouse Motorcycle Museum.

"The meeting was attended by Mr Maguire, Mr Stephen Hall, my campaign co-chairman, Miss Helen Tickle, my campaign secretary, and myself.

"I have had many meetings with Mr Maguire in the past relating to the development of the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre and Mr Maguire has also assisted with advice during previous election campaigns.

"It was assumed that the meeting was to be about the upcoming election and progress that Mr Maguire had made in relation to the equine centre concept on planning which was being developed for federal funding.

"Prior to that issue being raised, Mr Maguire indicated that he had spent four to five hours the night before in the company of the Deputy Prime Minister John Anderson and the National party Senator Sandy Macdonald and a black haired woman whose name he did not recall.

"Mr Anderson asked Mr Maguire to meet with me and give me some messages.

"Mr Maguire made a number of points regarding the previous night's meeting.

"John Anderson was paranoid about me and the demise of the Nationals and the rise of independents.

"Mr Anderson asked Mr Maguire to meet with me and give me some messages which Mr Maguire was then doing.

"Mr Anderson said that if I tried to get any credit from the funding from the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre that the funding would not take place.

"Mr Anderson was also concerned about my continued association with the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre, given my political position.

"Mr Anderson and Senator Macdonald asked Mr Maguire what it would take to get me not stand for re-election and indicated that there could be another career for me outside politics such as a diplomatic post or trade appointment if I didn't stand for the seat of New England.

"Senator Macdonald said: `offer him whatever it takes, we can deliver'.

"One of them also said, and I quote, `the government makes about 500 political appointments, it can be done'.

"Senator Macdonald also said: `Windsor has a pension, why does he want to hang around anyway, apparently referring to my 10 years in the state parliament.

"My response to Mr Maguire was: `Greg', and I know Greg Maguire quite well, `Greg, you should know, I'm - and there was an expletive put in here - I'm offended by that and you should know full well that I would not consider any such appointment'.

"Mr Maguire replied: `I know mate, I've just been asked to deliver the message'.

"My response was: `I cannot understand these guys and the lengths they will go to to get rid of me and to think that I would even consider such an offer'.

"I apologised to Miss Tickle for my swearing.

"My further comment to Mr Maguire was: `I believe - and I still do believe this - I believe this is an act of stupidity and desperation to regain the seat, tell Anderson and Macdonald I'm not interested'.

"Mr Maguire responded: `I still want you to get in touch with Anderson; Anderson is saying you won't talk to him' to which I agreed.

"And the conversation took place in this very spot a couple of weeks later.

"I believe that Mr Maguire was acting only as a messenger for John Anderson and Sandy Macdonald.

"The matter became public knowledge as result of discussions I had with Tony Vermeer from the Sunday Telegraph relating to my role in a hung parliament.

"The matter was subsequently mentioned in an article by this journalist in the Sunday Telegraph 19 September, 2004.

"I would like to point out, Mr Speaker, Mr Maguire is a very well regarded businessman in Tamworth, has been the prime mover in promoting the concept of the Australian Equine and Livestock Centre and I congratulate him on his success."

...And then he was out of time to speak. Ando made his response in the form of a parliamentary statement:

Ando's Response
"I completely repudiate the member for New England's allegations of improper inducements offered indirectly by Senator Macdonald and me earlier this year.

"I'd make the first point that there was no meeting on the 18th of May - I was in Queensland, Bundaberg, on the evening of the 18th.

"I have on three or four occasions met Mr Maguire. In total, I doubt that I've spent four or five hours with him. But I want to make it very plain that at those meetings neither I, nor the one in which Senator Macdonald was present, gave him any indication or authorisation to suggest to the member for New England ... that he might be offered some inducement in return for not running for the seat of New England.

"I cannot know what representations Mr Maguire might have made at the meeting that apparently took place on the 19th of May.

"But I can know that he had no authority whatsoever - implied, nuanced or whatever - from me or from Senator Macdonald to stand aside in return for some inducement.

"I understand that the police have interviewed a number of people in regard to this matter. They have not interviewed the member of my staff who was in attendance at the meeting that Senator Macdonald and I had with Mr Maguire. They have not interviewed Senator Macdonald and they have not interviewed me.

"But the matter is of course for them to take forward if they believe that there is a case that has to be answered by anyone.

"My position is quite simple on this one. I repudiate completely the claims. I do not engage in corrupt behaviour. So far as I am aware, at all times I have maintained what I believe to be both the law and the spirit of the law in relation to Australia's electoral matters.

"I think that matters. I think it's important. I think people who know me know that I think those things are important.

"And I said during the campaign that I would not do it, I haven't done it, and I would certainly not authorise anyone else to make those sorts of offers on my part.

"I said that during the campaign, I repeat it now. That is, so far as I am concerned, all that I intend saying on the matter."

WebDiary adds this interesting little bit:

Late tonight Mr Anderson produced his itinerary and flight details covering the 18th of May, 2004, when Mr Windsor alleged Mr McGuire met him. They confirmed that he was in Bundaberg, Queensland on the 18th, before flying to Gunnedah that night. It appears Mr Anderson met with Mr McGuire on May 15, 2004.

Now I'll post a comment by someone who will remain anonymous unless they want me to tag their name on it (you know who you are):

Mark my words, Anderson is in shit. He's denied it, naturally, but the facts are stacking, Ando. Tick tock. I'll be VERY surprised if a by-election in Gwydir isn't announced before the end of the year.

But this also holds other connotations. See, if there's a by-election Anderson will more than likely lose his seat. Gwydir will probably fall to Labor.

But more critically is Macdonald. A COALITION SENATOR.

For those who came in late, the Coalition holds the senate with an absolute majority of thirty-nine. Labor has twenty-eight, the Greens and the Democrats four each and Family First has one.

But if a Coalition senator is forcebly removed, if he isn't replaced with another Coalition member, then the Coalition will lose their absolute majority. They'll simply hold half of it. Let's assume Labor wins, now holding twenty-nine seats. The Greens and the Dems will back up Labor, bringing it up to thirty-seven.

Leaving just one to hold the balance of power.

FAMILY FIRST.

And if this causes enough outrage, there could be a double dissolusion, probably less than a YEAR after the Federal election.

The Nationals will be punished for bribing an MP. They will lose seats. Some they hold by a mere thread, and the smallest jostle will send them falling into Labor's safe hands.

Ever the optimist, but that's one hell of an interesting thought. I highly doubt we'd get a double-dissolution, but the Nats losing a Senate seat? That's a very real possibility.

Latho has gotten stuck into Ando also.

For more stuff (although all the stories are highly similar due to the shortage of source material):

Windsor says Anderson behind 'bribe bid' (SMH)
MP accuses Anderson of offering bribe (The Age)
Windsor names Anderson over 'bribe' (ABC)
Anderson named over bribe (News Ltd)
Anderson 'orchestrated' bribe bid (The Age)

Predictions:

Andrew Bolt (or the currently invisible Piers Akerman) will write a suckup article (if the Herald Sun don't omit the news altogether) on how awesome Ando is and try to make it sound like bribes are good.
This'll blow over in a month and Ando will get away with it, and still be deputy PM.

2004-11-17T23:30:00.000+11:00

I'm sure you will have heard that the federal minister for Education, Science and Training has announced a review into the teaching of reading in Australian schools.

He has made statements about 'phonics' and 'holistic' methods of teaching. He has been critical of teachers and of teacher training.

Dr Nelson's statements seem to indicate that there is one right way to teach and that his inquiry will identify this. There are different approaches to the teaching of reading. In very simple terms, one approach teaches children to analyse sounds and decode words. This is called a 'phonics' approach. The 'holistic' approach emphasises the use of contextual cues and other information to derive meaning from printed material.

There are some academics who hold quite extreme views. At one end of the spectrum there are academics who argues that the only way to teach anyone to read is to break the language down into component sounds and teach students to 'decode' new words.

At the other end of the spectrum is a 'naturalistic' approach, where the proponents argue that students learn by 'absorbing' the ability to read if the environment is rich in words.

Another version of this question asks, "should we identify what bad readers can't do and fix it, or should we identify what good readers do and teach all children those skills?"

The debate about which is more effective has been going on for all of my teaching career. The debate tends to be between academics in universities. You rarely find teachers debating which one of the two methods is best. In fact, there is very clear evidence that both methods work for some children. There is no evidence that either method works for all children.

Teachers use whatever information they can get hold of, work out what their students need and use whatever methods will work.

Our teachers all use a combination of methods. The NSW syllabus incorporates aspects of both approaches. None of our students have failed to meet the National Benchmarks referred to by Dr Nelson.

I fear that Dr Nelson's agenda has little to do with children learning to read. I wonder if he will select a panel of 'experts' to conduct his inquiry who will find that there is only one way to teach. I wonder if only public schools will be examined.

Dr Nelson might need to know more about the teaching of reading. I doubt that he needs an inquiry, that will cost millions of dollars, to get the information. There is no shortage of excellent books and journals that can provide the information. All he has to do is read a few.

I'd rather see the money spent on providing resources for our most disadvantaged students. We don't need a political inquiry. We need government commitment to public education.

Robert Binns
Principal

That's been pasted from a local primary school newsletter.