Completely Biased

Sunday, November 21, 2004


Looks like Tim Blair pussied out. I thought RWDB's were meant to be all fearless and everything?

Okay, I shall write about the night in excruciatingly boring detail, as is the case when I go out somewhere.

We open on me scamming a lift to the station from my brother. I get there, buy a ticket ($9.80), then sit down at Blaxland Station and wait for the train to arrive. A girl comes up to me and says hi. I ignore her. She says hi again. I look up, and she looks very familiar.

"Do you know who I am?"
"Ummm... Alex?"
"Yes! I thought I knew you!"

Alex was my next-door neighbour for most of high school. She was a great person, but ended up going the drug-fucked teen route. Which sucked. She's an absolute stunner now. Anyway, quick chat and then the train arrived (7:11, more or less on time). And then it occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea where The Clock actually was. I'd looked it up on the net before I left, but had wandered off before the page loaded. I sent an SMS to Jess, but got no reply because she's an evil demon-lady spawned from hell who hates me. That and Vodafone were jerking her around. But mainly the first thing.

Anyway, grabbed a seat away from screaming kids, and sort of dozed in and out of consciousness for most of the trip. Ticket inspector appeared around Emu Plains; Darp rang soon after that with directions to get to the Clock. I noticed it had started raining, then fell asleep.

At around 8:40, the train pulled into Central. I was starving. And also needed to take a monster slash. Found the toilet, drained my lizard, then went on over to HJ's for some quality* food. Whopper value meal. Ate 3/4, felt like spewing, forced myself to eat the rest.

And then it was off to find Devonshire St! The main area outside Hungry Jack's had a map of Central, and I found Devonshire off to the side; if I followed Eddy Ave then Elizabeth St. Out I went, into the pouring rain, and started walking in what I hoped was the right direction. A few minutes later I was unsure, so I asked a few people who either just shook their heads and ran off, or said they didn't know. Finally a CityRail guy pointed me the right way, and within a few minutes I was trekking up Devonshire St in the pissing rain. This took a while, and I was starting to worry that I'd missed the intersection for Crown St, but kept on walking. And then I arrived on it! Took a left and at long last found the Clock down the street a few hundred metres.

By now I was drenched. I went into the hotel and wandered around. Couldn't remember if Darp said everyone was upstairs or downstairs. I didn't want to appear completely lost so I took a quick stroll around, and found nobody. I SMSed Darp again, then my stomach wanted to evict some HJ's. Walked off to the upstairs dunnies, and proceeded to drop a fat one. Darp rang whilst I was preoccupied with this task. Apparently we were all downstairs near the entrance, meaning I'd walked right past everyone when I went in. Oops.

In I go to the crowd, looking somewhat petrified/lost. Darp spotted me, did the big intro to everyone, then we all got started with some mutual sucking-up. Quite a lot of it actually. Met Jess, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Weezil, and Agent Fare Evader. Chatty chatty chat chat, then I started getting nervous, freaked out, and sat outside for a while.

I'm just really bad at the whole pub socialising thing. It just isn't something I'm totally comfortable with. Apologies if I came across as rude to anyone or anything like that, it's just that I suck.

Anyway, I went back in, wandered around packing my dacks, then a thought occurred to me that chewing gum would solve all my problems. I don't know why. It just appeared in my head. I headed out to go and find a convenience store, but Suki stopped me to say hi first. We stood outside and talked a bit.

She is awesome. Reminds me of an aunty of mine, in both looks and personality. Anyway, we talked for a bit and she said many nice things about me, then went back inside while I started my Quest For Spearmint Extra.

Basically it involved walking in a straight line for about a kilometre, buying gum, then walking back. Mission accomplished! I started chewing and felt amazingly confident. Then I went back in the Clock and felt just as nervous as before, but with a fresh minty (no, not twat) taste in my mouth.

"Well, that was a complete waste of time, you utter pussy," said a voice in my head.
"I concur, old chap," said another.
"Why not just grow some fucking testicles and talk to people? They know each other about as well as you do," said voice number one.
"Fine, if it'll make you shut the hell up," said me, in my head. This is making me sound like a crazy person, isn't it?

Wandered around a bit more, and said goodbye to Jess, as she was leaving. Then I ended up talking to Darp, Flashman, Pissed Guy In Green Shirt Whose Name I Can't Remember, and some chick whose name I didn't manage to catch at all. It was very noisy.

Following that, I went over to Suki and checked out her camera, which was quite cool. Met... TimT and another guy called Tim (gah, sorry, can't remember your address), who was proudly holding a printout of his blog traffic. And we were all suitably impressed. Oh God, we're pathetic.

I then got carried away watching the boxing, these two guys staggering around trying to punch each other out. Just wondering who'd collapse first. But neither did while I was watching! Amazing.

Wandered over and said hi to... THE FLUTE! He is so cool. Would've liked to have talked to him more, without doof blaring over the top of his voice. Ahh well, next time!

It was starting to get close to midnight at around this time, and I really had to get going, before my stagecoach turned into a pumpkin (last train out of Sydney's almost gone - at 12:11 (on my line anyway)). Darp & Co were also walking back to Central, so I went along with them. That made a party of Darp, Flashman, Fulmination Dave, Agent Fare Evader, a girl who I later learned was called Giselle (that your girlfriend, Darp? Quite the looker!), and yours truly. We went back the same way I came, but with the difference of light drizzle instead of bastard rain.

I didn't say much on the way back; it was more interesting listening to everyone else speak. Eventually we reached the stairs at Central and parted ways. I picked a corridor at random and hoped it lead to the magical Platform 4... and wound up there! Woo! Bought a lemon/lime/orange 600mL Deep Spring, got on the train, sculled it, then went back to a half-asleep state.

At around 1:40, the train pulled into Blaxland, in pissing down rain. Due to me being too paranoid about leaving my car at the station, I was looking forward to a nice wet half hour walk home. But my parents, on their way home from a party of their own, called and offered a lift. I love them.

Got home, had a shower, wrote a heap of keywords to help me remember what happened last night, and crashed, only to wake up at 8 and go to fucking work. Ugh.

Now I shall sleep for what is hopefully a ridiculously long amount of time. Tomorrow can be Ando Day. I'm declaring it a national holiday. But as it's a Sunday, you can all have Monday off.

* this is debatable.